"HK" wrote in message
. ..
A pirate staggers into a bar.

The bartender says, "Hey, pirate, do you know you have a ship's wheel in
your pants?"

Pirate responds, "Arrrgh, she drives me nuts."


A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you
in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that
before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit
my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you,
you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy
ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed
me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in
here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were
flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye
just from some bird ****!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."