Gilligan wrote:
Leave the wife home.

She wants to sail.

Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the
problem, she can only make matters worse.

Because he doesn't have the patience or whatever to communicate the
workings properly.
Just think of what might have
happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to prevent
catastrophe.

He would have fallen apart.

The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement will be
when you are out sailing the world - without her.

No...for Christmas he should buy her sailing lessons with a female
instrictor or a male instructor with a ;ot of experience teaching women
and children..and the daughter should go, too/ I did not learn to sail
by being taught by my husband. He assumed too much. And when I got it
wrong he ye;;ed. So I sought out others with a lot of sailing experience
and began sailing on their boats. Funny how other people are loathe to
yell at you on their boats. The constraints of pioliteness with someone
elses wife helps a lot. (And their wife will crawl all over them if they
yell at you.)

I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's emotionally
driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not understanding.

He acted like an asshole. If he doesn't apologize just what do you
think the consequences at home will be? I suppose there are some men who
prefer the vouch for life.
Why
aren't women expected to understand men?

They do. That's the problem.

Why is it assumed that women are so
handicapped?

Men make this assumption. It makes them feel manly and strong. Goes
back to the cave days. The genetics haven't been wiped out yet.

Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism?

Because they like warm bodies...

Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some family
matters.

Dealing with children means a woman deals with every aspect of life:
danger, illness, transportation, education, feeding, clothing, caring,
emergencies, disasters, household management. ALl the things you need
to deal with when sailing.

Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as
attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the like.

You've never seen my mother go after a snake with a hoe. Or my
grandmother after a fox that got into her chickens. You are making
incorrect suppositions here. Women face beasts all day. They face the
external world everyday when they have to deal with teachers, the
pharmacist, the doctor, and the repairmen who come to the hoise to fix
ehatever her husband can't.

In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and the
woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won.

Bunk.....

It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master Mariner
Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject. I am certain
that he would add brilliant insight.

And thank God for that...

The wife should buy hubby an auto pilot for christmas so she can stay home
and face all those challenges of raising children that You speak so highly
of. I noticed dear kate You ignored the part where the hubby stated he has
told her and shown her time and time again how to do things and she can't
seem to get it. Of course you blame the man for not having patience with the
female but did You ever stop to think maybe she's just not smart enough to
get it. Oh wait that takes thinking. sorry
"katy" wrote in message
...
Gilligan wrote:
Leave the wife home.

She wants to sail.

Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the
problem, she can only make matters worse.

Because he doesn't have the patience or whatever to communicate the
workings properly.
Just think of what might have
happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to prevent
catastrophe.

He would have fallen apart.

The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement will
be when you are out sailing the world - without her.

No...for Christmas he should buy her sailing lessons with a female
instrictor or a male instructor with a ;ot of experience teaching women
and children..and the daughter should go, too/ I did not learn to sail by
being taught by my husband. He assumed too much. And when I got it wrong
he ye;;ed. So I sought out others with a lot of sailing experience and
began sailing on their boats. Funny how other people are loathe to yell
at you on their boats. The constraints of pioliteness with someone elses
wife helps a lot. (And their wife will crawl all over them if they yell at
you.)

I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's emotionally
driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not understanding.

He acted like an asshole. If he doesn't apologize just what do you think
the consequences at home will be? I suppose there are some men who prefer
the vouch for life.
Why
aren't women expected to understand men?

They do. That's the problem.

Why is it assumed that women are so
handicapped?

Men make this assumption. It makes them feel manly and strong. Goes back
to the cave days. The genetics haven't been wiped out yet.

Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism?

Because they like warm bodies...

Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some family
matters.

Dealing with children means a woman deals with every aspect of life:
danger, illness, transportation, education, feeding, clothing, caring,
emergencies, disasters, household management. ALl the things you need to
deal with when sailing.

Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as
attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the
like.

You've never seen my mother go after a snake with a hoe. Or my
grandmother after a fox that got into her chickens. You are making
incorrect suppositions here. Women face beasts all day. They face the
external world everyday when they have to deal with teachers, the
pharmacist, the doctor, and the repairmen who come to the hoise to fix
ehatever her husband can't.

In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and the
woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won.

Bunk.....

It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master Mariner
Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject. I am certain
that he would add brilliant insight.

And thank God for that...

Chi Chi wrote:
The wife should buy hubby an auto pilot for christmas so she can stay home
and face all those challenges of raising children that You speak so highly
of. I noticed dear kate You ignored the part where the hubby stated he has
told her and shown her time and time again how to do things and she can't
seem to get it. Of course you blame the man for not having patience with the
female but did You ever stop to think maybe she's just not smart enough to
get it. Oh wait that takes thinking. sorry
"katy" wrote in message
...
Gilligan wrote:
Leave the wife home.

She wants to sail.

Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the
problem, she can only make matters worse.

Because he doesn't have the patience or whatever to communicate the
workings properly.
Just think of what might have
happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to prevent
catastrophe.

He would have fallen apart.

The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement will
be when you are out sailing the world - without her.

No...for Christmas he should buy her sailing lessons with a female
instrictor or a male instructor with a ;ot of experience teaching women
and children..and the daughter should go, too/ I did not learn to sail by
being taught by my husband. He assumed too much. And when I got it wrong
he ye;;ed. So I sought out others with a lot of sailing experience and
began sailing on their boats. Funny how other people are loathe to yell
at you on their boats. The constraints of pioliteness with someone elses
wife helps a lot. (And their wife will crawl all over them if they yell at
you.)

I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's emotionally
driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not understanding.

He acted like an asshole. If he doesn't apologize just what do you think
the consequences at home will be? I suppose there are some men who prefer
the vouch for life.
Why
aren't women expected to understand men?

They do. That's the problem.

Why is it assumed that women are so
handicapped?

Men make this assumption. It makes them feel manly and strong. Goes back
to the cave days. The genetics haven't been wiped out yet.

Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism?

Because they like warm bodies...

Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some family
matters.

Dealing with children means a woman deals with every aspect of life:
danger, illness, transportation, education, feeding, clothing, caring,
emergencies, disasters, household management. ALl the things you need to
deal with when sailing.

Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as
attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the
like.

You've never seen my mother go after a snake with a hoe. Or my
grandmother after a fox that got into her chickens. You are making
incorrect suppositions here. Women face beasts all day. They face the
external world everyday when they have to deal with teachers, the
pharmacist, the doctor, and the repairmen who come to the hoise to fix
ehatever her husband can't.

In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and the
woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won.

Bunk.....

It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master Mariner
Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject. I am certain
that he would add brilliant insight.

And thank God for that...



I have an auto-pilot and I use it when singlehanding.
Now along those lines a story about a marraige gone bad. Years ago, we
were caving with a husband wife team and were going down a really bad
road in their 4WD truck, came to a deep water filled hole. Henry stops
the truck and says "Mary Lou, why dontcha get out and lock in the hubs"
which she dutifully does while standing in water. Henry turns to me
and says "you didnt know I had automatic hubs did you". They got
divorced.
Kathy cannot sail I think mostly cuz she doesnt want to. She has never
been calm on the water cuz she was brought up inland up north and isnt
really a good swimmer either although good enough. She just doesnt
relax near the water. She is fine in the mountains climbing or hiking
but water makes her nervous. After many years, I understand this and do
not pressure her to like it. She has taken sailing lessons but
promptly forgot them because it just isnt her thing. I built the
little MiniCup sailboats cuz I thought her and the kids would like
them. The kids loved them but she tried once and wont go near them
again. Its just not her thing.

Chi Chi wrote:
The wife should buy hubby an auto pilot for christmas so she can stay home
and face all those challenges of raising children that You speak so highly
of. I noticed dear kate You ignored the part where the hubby stated he has
told her and shown her time and time again how to do things and she can't
seem to get it.

He obviously has no teaching skills, Neal.

Of course you blame the man for not having patience with the
female but did You ever stop to think maybe she's just not smart enough to
get it.

Or he's not communicative enough to express the correct thing to do?


Oh wait that takes thinking. sorry

Something he obviously didn't do.

"katy" wrote in message
...

Gilligan wrote:

Leave the wife home.

She wants to sail.

Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the

problem, she can only make matters worse.

Because he doesn't have the patience or whatever to communicate the
workings properly.
Just think of what might have

happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to prevent
catastrophe.

He would have fallen apart.

The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement will
be when you are out sailing the world - without her.

No...for Christmas he should buy her sailing lessons with a female
instrictor or a male instructor with a ;ot of experience teaching women
and children..and the daughter should go, too/ I did not learn to sail by
being taught by my husband. He assumed too much. And when I got it wrong
he ye;;ed. So I sought out others with a lot of sailing experience and
began sailing on their boats. Funny how other people are loathe to yell
at you on their boats. The constraints of pioliteness with someone elses
wife helps a lot. (And their wife will crawl all over them if they yell at
you.)

I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's emotionally
driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not understanding.

He acted like an asshole. If he doesn't apologize just what do you think
the consequences at home will be? I suppose there are some men who prefer
the vouch for life.
Why

aren't women expected to understand men?

They do. That's the problem.

Why is it assumed that women are so

handicapped?

Men make this assumption. It makes them feel manly and strong. Goes back
to the cave days. The genetics haven't been wiped out yet.

Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism?

Because they like warm bodies...

Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some family
matters.

Dealing with children means a woman deals with every aspect of life:
danger, illness, transportation, education, feeding, clothing, caring,
emergencies, disasters, household management. ALl the things you need to
deal with when sailing.

Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as

attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the
like.

You've never seen my mother go after a snake with a hoe. Or my
grandmother after a fox that got into her chickens. You are making
incorrect suppositions here. Women face beasts all day. They face the
external world everyday when they have to deal with teachers, the
pharmacist, the doctor, and the repairmen who come to the hoise to fix
ehatever her husband can't.


In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and the
woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won.

Bunk.....

It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master Mariner
Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject. I am certain
that he would add brilliant insight.

And thank God for that...

katy wrote:
Chi Chi wrote:

The wife should buy hubby an auto pilot for christmas so she can stay
home and face all those challenges of raising children that You speak
so highly of. I noticed dear kate You ignored the part where the hubby
stated he has told her and shown her time and time again how to do
things and she can't seem to get it.


He obviously has no teaching skills, Neal.

Of course you blame the man for not having patience with the

female but did You ever stop to think maybe she's just not smart
enough to get it.


Or he's not communicative enough to express the correct thing to do?


Oh wait that takes thinking. sorry

Something he obviously didn't do.

"katy" wrote in message
...

Gilligan wrote:

Leave the wife home.


She wants to sail.

Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the

problem, she can only make matters worse.


Because he doesn't have the patience or whatever to communicate the
workings properly.
Just think of what might have

happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to
prevent catastrophe.


He would have fallen apart.

The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement
will be when you are out sailing the world - without her.


No...for Christmas he should buy her sailing lessons with a female
instrictor or a male instructor with a ;ot of experience teaching
women and children..and the daughter should go, too/ I did not learn
to sail by being taught by my husband. He assumed too much. And when
I got it wrong he ye;;ed. So I sought out others with a lot of
sailing experience and began sailing on their boats. Funny how other
people are loathe to yell at you on their boats. The constraints of
pioliteness with someone elses wife helps a lot. (And their wife will
crawl all over them if they yell at you.)

I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's
emotionally driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not
understanding.


He acted like an asshole. If he doesn't apologize just what do you
think the consequences at home will be? I suppose there are some men
who prefer the vouch for life.
Why

aren't women expected to understand men?


They do. That's the problem.

Why is it assumed that women are so

handicapped?


Men make this assumption. It makes them feel manly and strong. Goes
back to the cave days. The genetics haven't been wiped out yet.

Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism?

Because they like warm bodies...

Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some
family matters.


Dealing with children means a woman deals with every aspect of life:
danger, illness, transportation, education, feeding, clothing,
caring, emergencies, disasters, household management. ALl the things
you need to deal with when sailing.

Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as

attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the
like.


You've never seen my mother go after a snake with a hoe. Or my
grandmother after a fox that got into her chickens. You are making
incorrect suppositions here. Women face beasts all day. They face
the external world everyday when they have to deal with teachers, the
pharmacist, the doctor, and the repairmen who come to the hoise to
fix ehatever her husband can't.


In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and
the woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won.


Bunk.....

It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master
Mariner Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject.
I am certain that he would add brilliant insight.


And thank God for that...



OK...after reading his explanation of the history of sailing in his
family, I addend this. WHen you take her sailing, don't ask her to do
anything. Make her as comfortable as possible. Have a bottle of wine
on board. A boc of chocolates, a good book. Ig things get dicey, don't
get mad. Just clear the decks and do what has to be done. And get your
engine fixed so it never happens again. DON'T not take her sailing when
she asks. Take fer, grit your teeth, and think of the benefits that
might come from being pleasant for the day.

katy wrote:
katy wrote:
Chi Chi wrote:

The wife should buy hubby an auto pilot for christmas so she can stay
home and face all those challenges of raising children that You speak
so highly of. I noticed dear kate You ignored the part where the hubby
stated he has told her and shown her time and time again how to do
things and she can't seem to get it.


He obviously has no teaching skills, Neal.

Of course you blame the man for not having patience with the

female but did You ever stop to think maybe she's just not smart
enough to get it.


Or he's not communicative enough to express the correct thing to do?


Oh wait that takes thinking. sorry

Something he obviously didn't do.

"katy" wrote in message
...

Gilligan wrote:

Leave the wife home.


She wants to sail.

Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the

problem, she can only make matters worse.


Because he doesn't have the patience or whatever to communicate the
workings properly.
Just think of what might have

happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to
prevent catastrophe.


He would have fallen apart.

The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement
will be when you are out sailing the world - without her.


No...for Christmas he should buy her sailing lessons with a female
instrictor or a male instructor with a ;ot of experience teaching
women and children..and the daughter should go, too/ I did not learn
to sail by being taught by my husband. He assumed too much. And when
I got it wrong he ye;;ed. So I sought out others with a lot of
sailing experience and began sailing on their boats. Funny how other
people are loathe to yell at you on their boats. The constraints of
pioliteness with someone elses wife helps a lot. (And their wife will
crawl all over them if they yell at you.)

I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's
emotionally driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not
understanding.


He acted like an asshole. If he doesn't apologize just what do you
think the consequences at home will be? I suppose there are some men
who prefer the vouch for life.
Why

aren't women expected to understand men?


They do. That's the problem.

Why is it assumed that women are so

handicapped?


Men make this assumption. It makes them feel manly and strong. Goes
back to the cave days. The genetics haven't been wiped out yet.

Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism?

Because they like warm bodies...

Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some
family matters.


Dealing with children means a woman deals with every aspect of life:
danger, illness, transportation, education, feeding, clothing,
caring, emergencies, disasters, household management. ALl the things
you need to deal with when sailing.

Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as

attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the
like.


You've never seen my mother go after a snake with a hoe. Or my
grandmother after a fox that got into her chickens. You are making
incorrect suppositions here. Women face beasts all day. They face
the external world everyday when they have to deal with teachers, the
pharmacist, the doctor, and the repairmen who come to the hoise to
fix ehatever her husband can't.


In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and
the woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won.


Bunk.....

It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master
Mariner Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject.
I am certain that he would add brilliant insight.


And thank God for that...



OK...after reading his explanation of the history of sailing in his
family, I addend this. WHen you take her sailing, don't ask her to do
anything. Make her as comfortable as possible. Have a bottle of wine
on board. A boc of chocolates, a good book. Ig things get dicey, don't
get mad. Just clear the decks and do what has to be done. And get your
engine fixed so it never happens again. DON'T not take her sailing when
she asks. Take fer, grit your teeth, and think of the benefits that
might come from being pleasant for the day.

katy:

In a long term relationship, you never stop hoping the other partner
will someday get interested in what interests you. She seems to think
that someday i will miraculously be interested in going to plays. I
foolishly think that maybe she will somehow get interested in sailing..
There is also the teaching aspect. SHE IS a teacher by profession and
I am not. I just expect copmpetence from people and I admit to having
little patience.
Generally, you cannot choose the conditions when you go sailing, you
look out to sea and either go or not. I've backed down from family
sailing trips due to weather but this time it looked OK in spite of no
other boats being out and generally I think I can fix anything on my
boat. Given time, I could have fixed the engine and had a great story
to tell. OK, I still have a story but I just dont look good in it.

In a long term relationship, you never stop hoping the other partner
will someday get interested in what interests you. She seems to think
that someday i will miraculously be interested in going to plays. I
foolishly think that maybe she will somehow get interested in sailing..
There is also the teaching aspect. SHE IS a teacher by profession and
I am not. I just expect copmpetence from people and I admit to having
little patience.
Generally, you cannot choose the conditions when you go sailing, you
look out to sea and either go or not. I've backed down from family
sailing trips due to weather but this time it looked OK in spite of no
other boats being out and generally I think I can fix anything on my
boat. Given time, I could have fixed the engine and had a great story
to tell. OK, I still have a story but I just dont look good in it.


At least you're a big enough person to admit it and go on....

OK...after reading his explanation of the history of sailing in his
family, I addend this. WHen you take her sailing, don't ask her to do
anything. Make her as comfortable as possible. Have a bottle of wine
on board. A boc of chocolates, a good book. Ig things get dicey, don't
get mad. Just clear the decks and do what has to be done. And get your
engine fixed so it never happens again. DON'T not take her sailing when
she asks. Take fer, grit your teeth, and think of the benefits that
might come from being pleasant for the day.

Oh sure I'd bet You'd like that, being treated like royalty I suppose is
what You expect from men just because You're a female. With that type of
attitude the captain ought to throw your ass overboard. You ever hear the
word teamwork? Just like a marriage sailing is a team thing but I doubt You
comprehend that.

"Chi Chi" wrote in message
m...
OK...after reading his explanation of the history of sailing in his
family, I addend this. WHen you take her sailing, don't ask her to do
anything. Make her as comfortable as possible. Have a bottle of wine
on board. A boc of chocolates, a good book. Ig things get dicey, don't
get mad. Just clear the decks and do what has to be done. And get your
engine fixed so it never happens again. DON'T not take her sailing when
she asks. Take fer, grit your teeth, and think of the benefits that
might come from being pleasant for the day.

Oh sure I'd bet You'd like that, being treated like royalty I suppose is
what You expect from men just because You're a female. With that type of
attitude the captain ought to throw your ass overboard. You ever hear the
word teamwork? Just like a marriage sailing is a team thing but I doubt
You comprehend that.


For what it's worth, I have this exact relationship with my husband -- he
doesn't care to learn a thing about sailing, doesn't particularly like it,
and wouldn't mind at all if I sold Escapade. Then again, he does, from time
to time, enjoy a day out on the water. So when we go sailing I treat it as
if I'm single-handing. I try to lure him into the cockpit if it's nice out
and there's something "interesting to see" (what -- just the water isn't
enough!?) but otherwise leave him to nap below or whatever he wants to do.

Granted, it's more fun when I have my sister and family aboard, because they
absolutely LOVE sailing, and want to learn about it. But you know what they
say: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't teach him to gybe."

KCL Leave Alesford Lake and head to the bay. Moron is their.

KLC Lewis wrote:

"Chi Chi" wrote in message
m...
OK...after reading his explanation of the history of sailing in his
family, I addend this. WHen you take her sailing, don't ask her to do
anything. Make her as comfortable as possible. Have a bottle of wine
on board. A boc of chocolates, a good book. Ig things get dicey, don't
get mad. Just clear the decks and do what has to be done. And get your
engine fixed so it never happens again. DON'T not take her sailing when
she asks. Take fer, grit your teeth, and think of the benefits that
might come from being pleasant for the day.

Oh sure I'd bet You'd like that, being treated like royalty I suppose is
what You expect from men just because You're a female. With that type of
attitude the captain ought to throw your ass overboard. You ever hear the
word teamwork? Just like a marriage sailing is a team thing but I doubt
You comprehend that.


For what it's worth, I have this exact relationship with my husband -- he
doesn't care to learn a thing about sailing, doesn't particularly like it,
and wouldn't mind at all if I sold Escapade. Then again, he does, from time
to time, enjoy a day out on the water. So when we go sailing I treat it as
if I'm single-handing. I try to lure him into the cockpit if it's nice out
and there's something "interesting to see" (what -- just the water isn't
enough!?) but otherwise leave him to nap below or whatever he wants to do.

Granted, it's more fun when I have my sister and family aboard, because they
absolutely LOVE sailing, and want to learn about it. But you know what they
say: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't teach him to gybe."