Subject: OT- Joke - Teacher Arrested at JFK


At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual
later discovered to be a public school teacher, was
arrested trying to board a flight while in possession
of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule,
and a calculator.

At a morning press conference,
Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he believes the
man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement.

The FBI is charging him with carrying weapons of math
instruction.

Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Gonzalez said. "They
desire average solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and
refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of the
axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There
are 3 sides to every triangle".

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of
math instruction, He would have given us more fingers
and toes".
--

Calif Bill wrote:
Subject: OT- Joke - Teacher Arrested at JFK


At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual
later discovered to be a public school teacher, was
arrested trying to board a flight while in possession
of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule,
and a calculator.

At a morning press conference,
Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he believes the
man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement.

The FBI is charging him with carrying weapons of math
instruction.

Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Gonzalez said. "They
desire average solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and
refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of the
axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There
are 3 sides to every triangle".

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of
math instruction, He would have given us more fingers
and toes".
--

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and
those who can't

On 5 Apr 2006 12:50:41 -0700, "basskisser" wrote:


Calif Bill wrote:
Subject: OT- Joke - Teacher Arrested at JFK


At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual
later discovered to be a public school teacher, was
arrested trying to board a flight while in possession
of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule,
and a calculator.

At a morning press conference,
Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he believes the
man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement.

The FBI is charging him with carrying weapons of math
instruction.

Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Gonzalez said. "They
desire average solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and
refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of the
axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There
are 3 sides to every triangle".

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of
math instruction, He would have given us more fingers
and toes".
--

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and
those who can't

Agreed, but you can say that about the whole population.
--
'Til next time,

John H

******************************************
***** Have a Spectacular Day! *****
******************************************

On Wed, 05 Apr 2006 18:50:44 GMT, "Calif Bill"
wrote:

Subject: OT- Joke - Teacher Arrested at JFK


At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual
later discovered to be a public school teacher, was
arrested trying to board a flight while in possession
of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule,
and a calculator.

At a morning press conference,
Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he believes the
man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement.

The FBI is charging him with carrying weapons of math
instruction.

Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Gonzalez said. "They
desire average solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and
refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of the
axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There
are 3 sides to every triangle".

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of
math instruction, He would have given us more fingers
and toes".
--

Love it. Today it was the Mean Value Theorem for calculus, and 'ellipses'
for algebra 2. Not fun when you haven't seen the stuff for about 36 years!
--
'Til next time,

John H

******************************************
***** Have a Spectacular Day! *****
******************************************

JohnH wrote:

--

Love it. Today it was the Mean Value Theorem for calculus, and 'ellipses'
for algebra 2. Not fun when you haven't seen the stuff for about 36 years!
--


Math makes my tiny little brain ache. I suspected by about the time I
hit 7th or 8th grade that if I could add, subtract, multiply, and
divide (and I can) I would have the basic math skills required for an
adequately successful life. I used to ask math teachers, "What the heck
will I ever *do* with (for example) a Mean Value Theorem or an
ellipse?" Best answer I ever got was, "You'll need to know this if you
ever want to be a math teacher." More often, my inquiry was regarded as
some sort of sacreligious remark. :-)

Is it entirely important for these kids to learn something that you
admit you haven't needed to use for the last 36 years? (ignore that,
just another sacreligious remark)

If I ever figure out just how being able to calculate the square root
of the combined perimeter dimensions of an elongated hexagon would
improve boating, writing, or life in general I would take the whole
science of math more seriously.

On 7 Apr 2006 10:53:50 -0700, "
wrote:


JohnH wrote:

--

Love it. Today it was the Mean Value Theorem for calculus, and 'ellipses'
for algebra 2. Not fun when you haven't seen the stuff for about 36 years!
--


Math makes my tiny little brain ache. I suspected by about the time I
hit 7th or 8th grade that if I could add, subtract, multiply, and
divide (and I can) I would have the basic math skills required for an
adequately successful life. I used to ask math teachers, "What the heck
will I ever *do* with (for example) a Mean Value Theorem or an
ellipse?" Best answer I ever got was, "You'll need to know this if you
ever want to be a math teacher." More often, my inquiry was regarded as
some sort of sacreligious remark. :-)

Is it entirely important for these kids to learn something that you
admit you haven't needed to use for the last 36 years? (ignore that,
just another sacreligious remark)

If I ever figure out just how being able to calculate the square root
of the combined perimeter dimensions of an elongated hexagon would
improve boating, writing, or life in general I would take the whole
science of math more seriously.

Somewhere, Chuck, there is a mathematician saying, "Why the hell did they
make me spend so much time writing essays and term papers?"

It's a shame we aren't born with 'writer', 'engineer', 'doctor', or some
other designator written on our foreheads. Then society would know which
subjects to teach which people.
--
'Til next time,

John H

******************************************
***** Have a Spectacular Day! *****
******************************************

Math makes my tiny little brain ache. I suspected by about the time I
hit 7th or 8th grade that if I could add, subtract, multiply, and
divide (and I can) I would have the basic math skills required for an
adequately successful life.

Sure. All you really need is the basic ability to handle
money so you won't continually get ripped off.


... I used to ask math teachers, "What the heck
will I ever *do* with (for example) a Mean Value Theorem or an
ellipse?" Best answer I ever got was, "You'll need to know this if you
ever want to be a math teacher." More often, my inquiry was regarded as
some sort of sacreligious remark. :-)


That's a shame, because a good teacher would have a much
better answer.



Is it entirely important for these kids to learn something that you
admit you haven't needed to use for the last 36 years? (ignore that,
just another sacreligious remark)


It's good if only for the self-discipline of learning it,
and another important point is that you never know what
knowledge is going to come in useful until you need it.

Why the heck did I study Latin in high school? Useless waste
of time... however it made using scientific terms a breeze
and impressed some people whom I otherwise would have had a
hard time with. And it made learning a number of foreign
languages much easier, even 30 years later.

If I ever figure out just how being able to calculate the square root
of the combined perimeter dimensions of an elongated hexagon would
improve boating, writing, or life in general I would take the whole
science of math more seriously.


Hexagons, no. Triangles yes... primary skill in navigating a
boat. As for basic math having to do with money, if you want
to know how to figure out interest rates, it gets a little
more complex but still within the grasp of the average
high-schooler.


JohnH wrote:
Somewhere, Chuck, there is a mathematician saying, "Why the hell did they
make me spend so much time writing essays and term papers?"

It's a shame we aren't born with 'writer', 'engineer', 'doctor', or some
other designator written on our foreheads. Then society would know which
subjects to teach which people.

It would be better if people just came with little sockets
in their heads so they could plug in the appropriate chip
for doing fancy math, composing sonatas, writing sonnets,
and watching MTV.

DSK