"Doug Kanter" wrote in message news:5Qzrf.340

This is a serious question: What's the most effective, yet socially
acceptable way to get SOMEONE ELSE'S dog to stop jumping on you,

Dogs don't understand English. At best, they have a tenuous, rudimentary
grasp of a few English words, but they're really just unintelligible sounds
that sometimes produce a desired result. You have to speak dog. Widen your
eyes, stare directly into his eyes, bare your teeth way back, and growl deep
in your throat, loud. If he's smaller than you and thinks you're highly
****ed, he'll back off. Works for me.