Nudge Nudge


Man:
'Evening, squire!

Squi
(stiffly)
Good evening.

Man:
Is, uh,... Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean,
nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?

Squi
I, uh, I beg your pardon?

Man:
Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?

Squi
(flustered)
Well, she sometimes 'goes', yes.

Man:
Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more, know
whatahmean, nudge nudge?

Squi
(confused)
I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.

Man:
Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good!
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!

Squi
Are you, uh,... are you selling something?

Man:
SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay?
(pause)
Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE!

Squi
Well, I, uh....

Man:
Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?

Squi
Um, she likes sport, yes!

Man:
I bet she does, I bet she does!

Squi
As a matter of fact she's very fond of cricket.

Man:
'Oo isn't? Likes games, eh?
Knew she would. Likes games, eh?
She's been around a bit, been around?

Squi
She has traveled, yes. She's from Scarsdale.

(pause)

Man:
SAY NO MORE!!
Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire!

Squi
I wasn't going to!

Man:
Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib?
Is your uh, is your wife interested in... photography, ay?
'Photographs, ay', he asked him knowlingly?

Squi
Photography?

Man:
Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?

Squi
Holiday snaps, eh?

Man:
They could be, they could be taken on holiday.
Candid, you know, CANDID photography?

Squi
No, no I'm afraid we don't have a camera.

Man:
Oh.
(leeringly)
Still, mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohoho, ay?

Squi
Look... are you insinuating something?

Man:
Oh, no, no, no... yes.

Squi
Well?

Man:
Well, you're a man of the world, squire.

Squi
Yes...

Man:
I mean, you've been around a bit, you know, like, you've, uh... You've
'done it'...

Squi
What do you mean?

Man:
Well, I mean like,... you've SLEPT, with a lady...

Squi
Yes...

Man:
What's it like?