Boat Ramp Geniuses
 

Some of the best ones were recently released from the home. Feel free to
contribute.

1) Keuka Lake State Park (NY), two weeks ago: On the ramp adjacent to the
one I was using, captain pulls his 23-ish ft ship out of the water,
forgetting to first lift his outdrive. Interesting noise, and when the skeg
cleared the wet part of the ramp, sound followed by smoke, like if a highway
crew was etching the pavement but forgot to turn on the cooling water. Nice.
Then, he figured maybe he could back it into the water again. Not. Made more
nice sounds, this time a scary creaking sound from the transom. Pulls it
back out again. So....the guy next to me on the other side runs over and
says "Ya know...I have a couple of 2x8s - you could drive the trailer wheel
up on them, and then lift the outdrive". Captain says "Thanks, but I don't
see how that's gonna help". Without waiting for an explanation, puts truck
in gear again and proceeds 200 feet across the parking lot trailing smoke
and sparks. (It was dark - nice light show). No idea how he resolved the
problem.

2) Irondequoit Bay NY, this past Sunday: Two people in their 40s are
standing by their boat, waiting for person #3 to arrive with the trailer. He
arrives. He's the kind of guy who, when you see him on the road, you say to
your kids "When I'm that old, PLEASE take my keys away...please!" In the
process of making 15 approaches, he manages to put on wheel of the trailer
onto the dock, then puts the trailer at a 45 degree angle toward the
adjacent ramp, and other assorted amusements. All other vehicles pulled away
and the person taking $$ kept any newcomers from entering the hazard zone
for the moment. Finally, he was ordered out of his car and a park employee
backed the trailer in, over the objections of one of the 2 statues who were
still standing on the dock with the boat, offering absolutely no guidance to
great grandpa.

Amazing.

If it wasn't for all the "Darwin Awards" I think I would give up boating.

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...
Some of the best ones were recently released from the home. Feel free to
contribute.

1) Keuka Lake State Park (NY), two weeks ago: On the ramp adjacent to the
one I was using, captain pulls his 23-ish ft ship out of the water,
forgetting to first lift his outdrive. Interesting noise, and when the
skeg cleared the wet part of the ramp, sound followed by smoke, like if a
highway crew was etching the pavement but forgot to turn on the cooling
water. Nice. Then, he figured maybe he could back it into the water again.
Not. Made more nice sounds, this time a scary creaking sound from the
transom. Pulls it back out again. So....the guy next to me on the other
side runs over and says "Ya know...I have a couple of 2x8s - you could
drive the trailer wheel up on them, and then lift the outdrive". Captain
says "Thanks, but I don't see how that's gonna help". Without waiting for
an explanation, puts truck in gear again and proceeds 200 feet across the
parking lot trailing smoke and sparks. (It was dark - nice light show). No
idea how he resolved the problem.

2) Irondequoit Bay NY, this past Sunday: Two people in their 40s are
standing by their boat, waiting for person #3 to arrive with the trailer.
He arrives. He's the kind of guy who, when you see him on the road, you
say to your kids "When I'm that old, PLEASE take my keys away...please!"
In the process of making 15 approaches, he manages to put on wheel of the
trailer onto the dock, then puts the trailer at a 45 degree angle toward
the adjacent ramp, and other assorted amusements. All other vehicles
pulled away and the person taking $$ kept any newcomers from entering the
hazard zone for the moment. Finally, he was ordered out of his car and a
park employee backed the trailer in, over the objections of one of the 2
statues who were still standing on the dock with the boat, offering
absolutely no guidance to great grandpa.

Amazing.

Saratoga Lake State Boat launch-July 2nd 2005

Saw a 70 y/o fisherman tried to drive his outboard Fishmaster onto his
trailer,a bit too fast.Nose of his boat ended up knocking winch post into
back of his pick up bed.Meanwhile his 2 frumpy grandsons aka PS2 anchors
(15-18 or so) stood by helplessly doing nothing to assist,1 I believe was
playing on his PSP.

Wayne

Waterford,NY-Erie Canal Lock 1 is re opened and fixed,woo hoo!

"WKR" wrote in message
...
Saratoga Lake State Boat launch-July 2nd 2005

Saw a 70 y/o fisherman tried to drive his outboard Fishmaster onto his
trailer,a bit too fast.Nose of his boat ended up knocking winch post into
back of his pick up bed.Meanwhile his 2 frumpy grandsons aka PS2 anchors
(15-18 or so) stood by helplessly doing nothing to assist,1 I believe was
playing on his PSP.

Wayne

Waterford,NY-Erie Canal Lock 1 is re opened and fixed,woo hoo!




Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the Muni
dock and watch the entertainment.....most often jet boaters arguing with
power boaters on who has priority. You also get the folks who don't have a
clue on how to back a trailer down the ramp.

Always a good time. ;-)

HarryKrause wrote:
*JimH* wrote:

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat
ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment.....most often jet boaters
arguing with power boaters on who has priority. You also get the
folks who don't have a clue on how to back a trailer down the ramp.

Always a good time. ;-)


It figures an asshole like you would get off watching others struggle.


If he was really interested in boating, he'd offer up his 'great wealth'
of boating knowledge to the newbys struggling to launch/retrieve.

On Tue, 19 Jul 2005 22:49:57 GMT, Don White
wrote:

HarryKrause wrote:
*JimH* wrote:

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat
ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment.....most often jet boaters
arguing with power boaters on who has priority. You also get the
folks who don't have a clue on how to back a trailer down the ramp.

Always a good time. ;-)

It figures an asshole like you would get off watching others struggle.

If he was really interested in boating, he'd offer up his 'great wealth'
of boating knowledge to the newbys struggling to launch/retrieve.

A couple of years ago, I went to help a guy out who obviously didn't
know what he was doing - it looked like a new boat - 20' or
thereabouts bow ride. He was having trouble getting the boat onto the
trailer - it had bunks and clearly was designed for drive on, but he
kept screwing the approach up, etc.

I backed my trailer in about ten feet from this guy, then went over to
ask if I could help. The guy gives me this look and say, No - I can
handle it - with his wife standing by rolls her eyes - yada, yada,
yada. The guy gets out of his boat and starts manually putting it on,
swearing up a blue streak, etc.

Ok, I walked over to where my Ranger was beached, backed off, drove it
on the trailer, secured it to the winch, got off, cinched it up tight
and towed it out of the water.

The guys' wife says, REALLY LOUD - "Well, I guess it must be really
nice to know what you are doing".

I kind of got the hell out of there quickly. :)

To just make a general comment, I do trailer during the week a lot and
I offer to help anybody who appears to require assistance. Out of ten
times, I'd bet 7 of them are refused.

"*JimH*" wrote in message news:4K6dnXcV8rew4kDfRVn-

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment

place I used to keep my boat some years ago had a public ramp right across
the channel from the marina. There was a group of about 4 or 5 old codger
townies used to come down of a saturday, set on the dock by the ramp in
their beach chairs with libations, and hold up score cards for each
launch/retrieval, a la gymnastics. 7.8..... 8.1.....7.6.....7.6.......
you get the drift.

Great entertainment, from both sides.

On Tue, 19 Jul 2005 20:30:46 -0400, "John Gaquin"
wrote:


"*JimH*" wrote in message news:4K6dnXcV8rew4kDfRVn-

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment

place I used to keep my boat some years ago had a public ramp right across
the channel from the marina. There was a group of about 4 or 5 old codger
townies used to come down of a saturday, set on the dock by the ramp in
their beach chairs with libations, and hold up score cards for each
launch/retrieval, a la gymnastics. 7.8..... 8.1.....7.6.....7.6.......
you get the drift.

Great entertainment, from both sides.

ROTFL!!!

HarryKrause wrote:
*JimH* wrote:

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the Muni
dock and watch the entertainment.....most often jet boaters arguing with
power boaters on who has priority. You also get the folks who don't have a
clue on how to back a trailer down the ramp.

Always a good time. ;-)



It figures an asshole like you would get off watching others struggle.

That's JimH for you, the Grand Poobah of Assholes United!

"Shortwave Sportfishing" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 19 Jul 2005 22:49:57 GMT, Don White
wrote:

HarryKrause wrote:
*JimH* wrote:

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat
ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment.....most often jet boaters
arguing with power boaters on who has priority. You also get the
folks who don't have a clue on how to back a trailer down the ramp.

Always a good time. ;-)

It figures an asshole like you would get off watching others struggle.

If he was really interested in boating, he'd offer up his 'great wealth'
of boating knowledge to the newbys struggling to launch/retrieve.

A couple of years ago, I went to help a guy out who obviously didn't
know what he was doing - it looked like a new boat - 20' or
thereabouts bow ride. He was having trouble getting the boat onto the
trailer - it had bunks and clearly was designed for drive on, but he
kept screwing the approach up, etc.

I backed my trailer in about ten feet from this guy, then went over to
ask if I could help. The guy gives me this look and say, No - I can
handle it - with his wife standing by rolls her eyes - yada, yada,
yada. The guy gets out of his boat and starts manually putting it on,
swearing up a blue streak, etc.

Ok, I walked over to where my Ranger was beached, backed off, drove it
on the trailer, secured it to the winch, got off, cinched it up tight
and towed it out of the water.

The guys' wife says, REALLY LOUD - "Well, I guess it must be really
nice to know what you are doing".

I kind of got the hell out of there quickly. :)

To just make a general comment, I do trailer during the week a lot and
I offer to help anybody who appears to require assistance. Out of ten
times, I'd bet 7 of them are refused.

I don't know if times have changed, but 30+ years ago, when my dad had big
boats, somebody would almost always come to help with docking. Not only
that, but they'd do whatever you told them to do, or just hold the boat fast
until you stepped off to tie up. Now....you get people who wrap the rope
once around the cleat and walk away, or pull the bow so tight that the stern
sticks out.

We also have a plague at our boat launch: Pedestrians who wander over from
the ice cream place to "watch" the boats, which is defined as standing right
in front of the ramps. Last weekend, I think everyone (including me) was at
the limits of their patience, due to crowding and heat. Everyone leaned on
their horns to wake up the ice cream cone-heads. They're like seagulls!!