Boat Ramp Geniuses
 

Some of the best ones were recently released from the home. Feel free to
contribute.

1) Keuka Lake State Park (NY), two weeks ago: On the ramp adjacent to the
one I was using, captain pulls his 23-ish ft ship out of the water,
forgetting to first lift his outdrive. Interesting noise, and when the skeg
cleared the wet part of the ramp, sound followed by smoke, like if a highway
crew was etching the pavement but forgot to turn on the cooling water. Nice.
Then, he figured maybe he could back it into the water again. Not. Made more
nice sounds, this time a scary creaking sound from the transom. Pulls it
back out again. So....the guy next to me on the other side runs over and
says "Ya know...I have a couple of 2x8s - you could drive the trailer wheel
up on them, and then lift the outdrive". Captain says "Thanks, but I don't
see how that's gonna help". Without waiting for an explanation, puts truck
in gear again and proceeds 200 feet across the parking lot trailing smoke
and sparks. (It was dark - nice light show). No idea how he resolved the
problem.

2) Irondequoit Bay NY, this past Sunday: Two people in their 40s are
standing by their boat, waiting for person #3 to arrive with the trailer. He
arrives. He's the kind of guy who, when you see him on the road, you say to
your kids "When I'm that old, PLEASE take my keys away...please!" In the
process of making 15 approaches, he manages to put on wheel of the trailer
onto the dock, then puts the trailer at a 45 degree angle toward the
adjacent ramp, and other assorted amusements. All other vehicles pulled away
and the person taking $$ kept any newcomers from entering the hazard zone
for the moment. Finally, he was ordered out of his car and a park employee
backed the trailer in, over the objections of one of the 2 statues who were
still standing on the dock with the boat, offering absolutely no guidance to
great grandpa.

Amazing.

If it wasn't for all the "Darwin Awards" I think I would give up boating.

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...
Some of the best ones were recently released from the home. Feel free to
contribute.

1) Keuka Lake State Park (NY), two weeks ago: On the ramp adjacent to the
one I was using, captain pulls his 23-ish ft ship out of the water,
forgetting to first lift his outdrive. Interesting noise, and when the
skeg cleared the wet part of the ramp, sound followed by smoke, like if a
highway crew was etching the pavement but forgot to turn on the cooling
water. Nice. Then, he figured maybe he could back it into the water again.
Not. Made more nice sounds, this time a scary creaking sound from the
transom. Pulls it back out again. So....the guy next to me on the other
side runs over and says "Ya know...I have a couple of 2x8s - you could
drive the trailer wheel up on them, and then lift the outdrive". Captain
says "Thanks, but I don't see how that's gonna help". Without waiting for
an explanation, puts truck in gear again and proceeds 200 feet across the
parking lot trailing smoke and sparks. (It was dark - nice light show). No
idea how he resolved the problem.

2) Irondequoit Bay NY, this past Sunday: Two people in their 40s are
standing by their boat, waiting for person #3 to arrive with the trailer.
He arrives. He's the kind of guy who, when you see him on the road, you
say to your kids "When I'm that old, PLEASE take my keys away...please!"
In the process of making 15 approaches, he manages to put on wheel of the
trailer onto the dock, then puts the trailer at a 45 degree angle toward
the adjacent ramp, and other assorted amusements. All other vehicles
pulled away and the person taking $$ kept any newcomers from entering the
hazard zone for the moment. Finally, he was ordered out of his car and a
park employee backed the trailer in, over the objections of one of the 2
statues who were still standing on the dock with the boat, offering
absolutely no guidance to great grandpa.

Amazing.

Saratoga Lake State Boat launch-July 2nd 2005

Saw a 70 y/o fisherman tried to drive his outboard Fishmaster onto his
trailer,a bit too fast.Nose of his boat ended up knocking winch post into
back of his pick up bed.Meanwhile his 2 frumpy grandsons aka PS2 anchors
(15-18 or so) stood by helplessly doing nothing to assist,1 I believe was
playing on his PSP.

Wayne

Waterford,NY-Erie Canal Lock 1 is re opened and fixed,woo hoo!

"WKR" wrote in message
...
Saratoga Lake State Boat launch-July 2nd 2005

Saw a 70 y/o fisherman tried to drive his outboard Fishmaster onto his
trailer,a bit too fast.Nose of his boat ended up knocking winch post into
back of his pick up bed.Meanwhile his 2 frumpy grandsons aka PS2 anchors
(15-18 or so) stood by helplessly doing nothing to assist,1 I believe was
playing on his PSP.

Wayne

Waterford,NY-Erie Canal Lock 1 is re opened and fixed,woo hoo!




Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the Muni
dock and watch the entertainment.....most often jet boaters arguing with
power boaters on who has priority. You also get the folks who don't have a
clue on how to back a trailer down the ramp.

Always a good time. ;-)

HarryKrause wrote:
*JimH* wrote:

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat
ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment.....most often jet boaters
arguing with power boaters on who has priority. You also get the
folks who don't have a clue on how to back a trailer down the ramp.

Always a good time. ;-)


It figures an asshole like you would get off watching others struggle.


If he was really interested in boating, he'd offer up his 'great wealth'
of boating knowledge to the newbys struggling to launch/retrieve.

On Tue, 19 Jul 2005 22:49:57 GMT, Don White
wrote:

HarryKrause wrote:
*JimH* wrote:

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat
ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment.....most often jet boaters
arguing with power boaters on who has priority. You also get the
folks who don't have a clue on how to back a trailer down the ramp.

Always a good time. ;-)

It figures an asshole like you would get off watching others struggle.

If he was really interested in boating, he'd offer up his 'great wealth'
of boating knowledge to the newbys struggling to launch/retrieve.

A couple of years ago, I went to help a guy out who obviously didn't
know what he was doing - it looked like a new boat - 20' or
thereabouts bow ride. He was having trouble getting the boat onto the
trailer - it had bunks and clearly was designed for drive on, but he
kept screwing the approach up, etc.

I backed my trailer in about ten feet from this guy, then went over to
ask if I could help. The guy gives me this look and say, No - I can
handle it - with his wife standing by rolls her eyes - yada, yada,
yada. The guy gets out of his boat and starts manually putting it on,
swearing up a blue streak, etc.

Ok, I walked over to where my Ranger was beached, backed off, drove it
on the trailer, secured it to the winch, got off, cinched it up tight
and towed it out of the water.

The guys' wife says, REALLY LOUD - "Well, I guess it must be really
nice to know what you are doing".

I kind of got the hell out of there quickly. :)

To just make a general comment, I do trailer during the week a lot and
I offer to help anybody who appears to require assistance. Out of ten
times, I'd bet 7 of them are refused.

"*JimH*" wrote in message news:4K6dnXcV8rew4kDfRVn-

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment

place I used to keep my boat some years ago had a public ramp right across
the channel from the marina. There was a group of about 4 or 5 old codger
townies used to come down of a saturday, set on the dock by the ramp in
their beach chairs with libations, and hold up score cards for each
launch/retrieval, a la gymnastics. 7.8..... 8.1.....7.6.....7.6.......
you get the drift.

Great entertainment, from both sides.

On Tue, 19 Jul 2005 20:30:46 -0400, "John Gaquin"
wrote:


"*JimH*" wrote in message news:4K6dnXcV8rew4kDfRVn-

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment

place I used to keep my boat some years ago had a public ramp right across
the channel from the marina. There was a group of about 4 or 5 old codger
townies used to come down of a saturday, set on the dock by the ramp in
their beach chairs with libations, and hold up score cards for each
launch/retrieval, a la gymnastics. 7.8..... 8.1.....7.6.....7.6.......
you get the drift.

Great entertainment, from both sides.

ROTFL!!!

HarryKrause wrote:
*JimH* wrote:

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the Muni
dock and watch the entertainment.....most often jet boaters arguing with
power boaters on who has priority. You also get the folks who don't have a
clue on how to back a trailer down the ramp.

Always a good time. ;-)



It figures an asshole like you would get off watching others struggle.

That's JimH for you, the Grand Poobah of Assholes United!

"Shortwave Sportfishing" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 19 Jul 2005 22:49:57 GMT, Don White
wrote:

HarryKrause wrote:
*JimH* wrote:

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat
ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment.....most often jet boaters
arguing with power boaters on who has priority. You also get the
folks who don't have a clue on how to back a trailer down the ramp.

Always a good time. ;-)

It figures an asshole like you would get off watching others struggle.

If he was really interested in boating, he'd offer up his 'great wealth'
of boating knowledge to the newbys struggling to launch/retrieve.

A couple of years ago, I went to help a guy out who obviously didn't
know what he was doing - it looked like a new boat - 20' or
thereabouts bow ride. He was having trouble getting the boat onto the
trailer - it had bunks and clearly was designed for drive on, but he
kept screwing the approach up, etc.

I backed my trailer in about ten feet from this guy, then went over to
ask if I could help. The guy gives me this look and say, No - I can
handle it - with his wife standing by rolls her eyes - yada, yada,
yada. The guy gets out of his boat and starts manually putting it on,
swearing up a blue streak, etc.

Ok, I walked over to where my Ranger was beached, backed off, drove it
on the trailer, secured it to the winch, got off, cinched it up tight
and towed it out of the water.

The guys' wife says, REALLY LOUD - "Well, I guess it must be really
nice to know what you are doing".

I kind of got the hell out of there quickly. :)

To just make a general comment, I do trailer during the week a lot and
I offer to help anybody who appears to require assistance. Out of ten
times, I'd bet 7 of them are refused.

I don't know if times have changed, but 30+ years ago, when my dad had big
boats, somebody would almost always come to help with docking. Not only
that, but they'd do whatever you told them to do, or just hold the boat fast
until you stepped off to tie up. Now....you get people who wrap the rope
once around the cleat and walk away, or pull the bow so tight that the stern
sticks out.

We also have a plague at our boat launch: Pedestrians who wander over from
the ice cream place to "watch" the boats, which is defined as standing right
in front of the ramps. Last weekend, I think everyone (including me) was at
the limits of their patience, due to crowding and heat. Everyone leaned on
their horns to wake up the ice cream cone-heads. They're like seagulls!!

"John Gaquin" wrote in message
...

"*JimH*" wrote in message news:4K6dnXcV8rew4kDfRVn-

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat
ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment

place I used to keep my boat some years ago had a public ramp right across
the channel from the marina. There was a group of about 4 or 5 old codger
townies used to come down of a saturday, set on the dock by the ramp in
their beach chairs with libations, and hold up score cards for each
launch/retrieval, a la gymnastics. 7.8..... 8.1.....7.6.....7.6.......
you get the drift.

Great entertainment, from both sides.


I've been a 7.3 lately. Had to remove the guide posts from my trailer
because the clamps were crushing the frame. Haven't hacked together an
alternative yet, but the idea's perfect: Two plastic woodworking clamps from
HD, two extra cheap 4' kiddie fishing poles, two styrofoam balls (from craft
shop), painted dayglo red. Clamp on gunwales. Ba da bing.

"HarryKrause" wrote in message


Oh, I did want to mention that at the two boat ramps I frequent up here,
no one sits around eating ice cream cones and laughing if a boater is
having trouble. If you run into problems at these ramps, a half-dozen guys
will jump to your aid so you can either launch or retrieve your boat
safely, without damaging it, the ramp, the dock, or other boats.

Well, the same thing happens hereabouts, but we also have some real
characters who like to have a little fun from time to time. This place is
called Realtown, USA. I would think it would get boring living in
Perfectville, eh Harry?


I suppose things are different in snooty Avon Lake, Ohio.

Dunno. Neva bin dere.


--
Let's pray the United States survives the rest of Bush's term.

Yes, lets pray! Chuck "Don't get between me and the camera" Schumer and Ted
"the Diving Instructor" Kennedy are doing their level best to decimate the
country and blame it on W, but with a few prayers, we may survive.

I'm anxious to see how Ted and Chuck's excellent adventure show will try to
smear John Roberts.

"Shortwave Sportfishing" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 19 Jul 2005 20:30:46 -0400, "John Gaquin"
wrote:


"*JimH*" wrote in message news:4K6dnXcV8rew4kDfRVn-

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat
ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment

place I used to keep my boat some years ago had a public ramp right
across
the channel from the marina. There was a group of about 4 or 5 old
codger
townies used to come down of a saturday, set on the dock by the ramp in
their beach chairs with libations, and hold up score cards for each
launch/retrieval, a la gymnastics. 7.8..... 8.1.....7.6.....7.6.......
you get the drift.

Great entertainment, from both sides.

ROTFL!!!

Yes. It seems there are always folks camped out at boat ramps, and I'm sure
its for the "entertainment".

But I had one close call, that was saved by a bystander. By myself, drove a
22' Master-Craft onto its trailer, cinched it up, got in the truck to pull
her out, and the winch failed. The guy sitting in his lawn chair jumped up
and started waving his hands. I stopped in time, but if I would have kept
pulling, I'm sure the boat could have fell of the end of the trailer. On
that particular ramp, I couldn't see any of the boat/trailer when pulling
up. I always have somebody watching now, if I can see anything.

--
-Netsock

"It's just about going fast...that's all..."
http://home.columbus.rr.com/ckg/

That's what safety chains for.


"Netsock" wrote in message
...

"Shortwave Sportfishing" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 19 Jul 2005 20:30:46 -0400, "John Gaquin"
wrote:


"*JimH*" wrote in message news:4K6dnXcV8rew4kDfRVn-

Some of the funniest times we have include sitting at the local boat
ramp.

My wife and I grab an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, drive down to the
Muni dock and watch the entertainment

place I used to keep my boat some years ago had a public ramp right
across
the channel from the marina. There was a group of about 4 or 5 old
codger
townies used to come down of a saturday, set on the dock by the ramp in
their beach chairs with libations, and hold up score cards for each
launch/retrieval, a la gymnastics. 7.8..... 8.1.....7.6.....7.6.......
you get the drift.

Great entertainment, from both sides.

ROTFL!!!

Yes. It seems there are always folks camped out at boat ramps, and I'm
sure
its for the "entertainment".

But I had one close call, that was saved by a bystander. By myself, drove
a
22' Master-Craft onto its trailer, cinched it up, got in the truck to pull
her out, and the winch failed. The guy sitting in his lawn chair jumped up
and started waving his hands. I stopped in time, but if I would have kept
pulling, I'm sure the boat could have fell of the end of the trailer. On
that particular ramp, I couldn't see any of the boat/trailer when pulling
up. I always have somebody watching now, if I can see anything.

--
-Netsock

"It's just about going fast...that's all..."
http://home.columbus.rr.com/ckg/

My boat has a safety chain from the bow to the trailer. Is never extremely
tight, so would not be a tie down chain. I use the winch as the primary
front tie down. The chain is adjustable via a keyhole tyle slot on the
winch stand.

"Gene Kearns" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 21 Jul 2005 16:00:43 -0700, "Chuck Tribolet"
wrote:

That's what safety chains for.


Safety chains might help keep the trailer from sliding away from the
tow vehicle, but they are poorly suited to keeping the boat on the
trailer, if held solely by the winch.

You might have an entirely valid case, however, if you wish to cite
the capability of bow and/or transom tie-downs...

--

_ ___c
\ _| \_
__\_| oooo \_____
~~~~|______________/ ~~~~~
~~~ ~~~~~~
~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
~~~~ }((((o ~~~~~~ }{{{{o ~~~~~~~

Grady-White Gulfstream, out of Southport, NC.

http://myworkshop.idleplay.net/
Homepage*
http://www.thebayguide.com/rec.boats
Rec.boats at Lee Yeaton's Bayguide

Safety chain from winch stand to bow eye. My Boston Whaler came with one.



"Gene Kearns" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 21 Jul 2005 16:00:43 -0700, "Chuck Tribolet"
wrote:

That's what safety chains for.


Safety chains might help keep the trailer from sliding away from the
tow vehicle, but they are poorly suited to keeping the boat on the
trailer, if held solely by the winch.

You might have an entirely valid case, however, if you wish to cite
the capability of bow and/or transom tie-downs...

--

_ ___c
\ _| \_
__\_| oooo \_____
~~~~|______________/ ~~~~~
~~~ ~~~~~~
~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
~~~~ }((((o ~~~~~~ }{{{{o ~~~~~~~

Grady-White Gulfstream, out of Southport, NC.

http://myworkshop.idleplay.net/
Homepage*
http://www.thebayguide.com/rec.boats
Rec.boats at Lee Yeaton's Bayguide