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Mount Rushmore
********* Oh dear. You must not have heard....... There's been oil discovered under Mt. Rushmore. Sources say it's enough to supply the domestic needs of the entire United States for 4-6 months. It's coming down, of course. Some company that Dick Cheney used to to head has been awarded a non-bid, no-limit, off-budget contract to demolish Rushmore. Rumor has it that they will employ a couple of thousand non-union "guest workers" with hispanic surnames to do the job with picks and shovel, and bill out the time at $250.00 an hour. Additional rumors that the INS will haul away the entire workforce each week, exactly half an hour before payday, are probably unfounded. Next on the agenda will be Yellowstone Park. Some good ol' Texas oil boys have an exclusive contract to tap all that geothermal energy currently "going to waste". They will be given access the the taxpayer's park free of charge, of course, and then allowed to charge us all through the nostrils for the energy they "recover" from our publicly owned natural resources. Maybe then we can rename Old Faithful the George W. Bush Fountain of Truth. It would seem appropriate: blows a lot of hot air on a regular basis, but once the sound and fury has subsided very little else in the immediate vicinity has actually changed. And even if the reports of oil under Mt Rushmore should prove to be false, there's one more reason that GWB could never join the other presidents depicted there.......there isn't enough room remaining on the mountain for the sculptor to put GWB's image an appropriate distance (half a mile?) to the right. |
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