Is there a better group than this for sailing? The ones I found were pretty
dead.

Yesterday I went out to sail my 13' boat, for what might be about the last
day this year. It is pretty narrow with big sails (a Starwing) and the wind
was rather stronger than forecast, about 15-20. That is way too strong for
me, so I didn't use the jib. In hindsight I should have reefed the main,
but that takes too long.

Had real problems on jibes and tacks. On tacks the boat would just stall
out, and I had to wait for a wind shift to help me out. That never happens
with my jib up. Any tips, or is it just a problem with not using the jib.
The jibes were much worse. The boom swung around violently, and the boat
nearly capsized twice. Again, I have never had that problem; but I have
also never had an unreefed main out in wind like that. Any tips for this
one? (I mean, other than "Learn to sail")

Finally, when I was just trying to sail straight, I was pretty much hiked
out as far as I could go. What do you do in that situation with an even
stronger wind gust? Without the jib, I steer a bit into the wind; with the
jib all I can think to do it let the main out to shed wind. Is there
anything better?

Thanks much.