....since I posted this fella's stuff...this one is classic.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Dr. Anthony Fauci spent several hours
on Saturday gently explaining to Donald J. Trump why it would be “a bad
idea� to hold a giant parade to celebrate the great job the President is
doing to combat COVID-19, Dr. Fauci has confirmed.

Trump first raised the idea of a massive parade early Saturday morning,
arguing that it would address the “biggest problem� created by the
pandemic thus far: the lack of appreciation for his own efforts
regarding it.

“A parade would put Jay Inslee and that woman in Michigan in their
place,� Trump bitterly insisted.

As Trump began drawing up plans for a parade, a panicked Dr. Fauci
interceded and tried to explain that such a celebration would be “much
nicer� if held after the pandemic is over.

“Would I still be able to have tanks?� a crestfallen Trump asked.

“Yes, you could have tanks,� Fauci replied.

“What about balloons?� Trump asked.

“You can have all the balloons you want,� the virologist said. “I
promise you.�

Speaking to reporters, Dr. Fauci said he believed that, after
laboriously explaining the situation to Trump, “I think I got through to
him,� adding, “I’ve gotta lie down now.�

From Andy Borowitz

Keyser Soze wrote:
...since I posted this fella's stuff...this one is classic.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Dr. Anthony Fauci spent several hours
on Saturday gently explaining to Donald J. Trump why it would be “a bad
idea� to hold a giant parade to celebrate the great job the President is
doing to combat COVID-19, Dr. Fauci has confirmed.

Trump first raised the idea of a massive parade early Saturday morning,
arguing that it would address the “biggest problem� created by the
pandemic thus far: the lack of appreciation for his own efforts
regarding it.

“A parade would put Jay Inslee and that woman in Michigan in their
place,� Trump bitterly insisted.

As Trump began drawing up plans for a parade, a panicked Dr. Fauci
interceded and tried to explain that such a celebration would be “much
nicer� if held after the pandemic is over.

“Would I still be able to have tanks?� a crestfallen Trump asked.

“Yes, you could have tanks,� Fauci replied.

“What about balloons?� Trump asked.

“You can have all the balloons you want,� the virologist said. “I
promise you.�

Speaking to reporters, Dr. Fauci said he believed that, after
laboriously explaining the situation to Trump, “I think I got through to
him,� adding, “I’ve gotta lie down now.�

From Andy Borowitz


TDS!