"Capt. Frank Hopkins" wrote in message
link.net...
NASA REPORT:

http://www.nasa.gov/vision/universe/...0.28Flare.html


Nice try, but you missed the *real* story...

SOLAR FLARE BRIEFLY KNOCKS OUT STING'S EGO

Impact on Singer Expected to be Temporary, Scientists Say


A gigantic solar flare slammed into the Earth's magnetic field on Wednesday
morning, briefly knocking out the ego of singer/actor Sting, scientists
said.

The performer was promoting his new book, a memoir entitled "Broken Music,"
on the television program "Live With Regis and Kelly," when the solar flare
slammed into the Earth's magnetic field.

Sting had begun telling the program's co-hosts about how his life-long love
affair with music began when he suddenly stopped, mid-sentence.

"Oh, who the bloody hell cares?" Sting said, the audience gasping as he
tossed his book aside in apparent disgust.

It was only hours later that scientists determined that the former Police
front-man's loss of ego, believed to be temporary in nature, had been caused
by the solar flare, surprising many experts.

"We had thought that the solar flare would have an effect on satellite and
cellular phone transmissions," said Dr. Kenneth Reid, a solar flare expert
at the University of Minnesota's Clausen Observatory. "We had no idea that
it was powerful enough to knock out Sting's ego."

Elsewhere, associates of the pop singer and MTV star Jessica Simpson said
that the solar flare might have caused Ms. Simpson's brain to function
temporarily.

Moments after the flare hit the Earth's magnetic field, Ms. Simpson was
observed correctly identifying canned tuna and brushing her teeth without
assistance.

Ms. Simpson's behavior was an "aberration," Dr. Reid said, and she was
expected to be back to bumping into doors and walls within hours.



The Borowitz Report