though it seems like a joke, one 6 month deployment on a submarine and
you would be able to come up with a list much greater in length.
McDeploy!!!

I associate leaving the navy with being soothed and better associating
myself with nature.

1) No McORSE

2) If you have to take a ****, you can go take a ****. No questions
asked.

3) You'll never have to go port and starboard on the fryer.

4) Better pay.

5) The f*cking sun.

6) Air.

7) The boxes of food at McDonald's aren't stamped "Rejected by Hardee's"
or "Not fit for human consumption".

8) The ability to call in sick.

9) The ability to quit.

10) McDonald's doesn't get their uniforms from the same company as the
state penitentiary.

11) McDonald's doesn't deploy.

12) They have actual janitors.

13) No McDrills.

14) The grill breaks, you CALL someone to fix it.

15) At least your boss accepts that he's a clown.

16) No McResin Discharge.

17) No all night hydro on the fryer.

18) One word: overtime.

19) Every day is slider day!

20) At McDonald's, you will never, EVER, worry about being put in prison
for ten years because you told your wife what the secret sauce is.

22) You'll never die a horrible, excruciating death from the crush depth
implosion of a McDonald's.

23) No steam piping.

24) No time at McDonald's will you hear your boss give a thirty minute
dissertation over the P.A. on the importance of being at the register 15
minutes early.

25) They won't ask you about Taco Bell operations on the advancement
test.

26) You get to leave work EVERY day at the end.

27) McDonald's will eventually fire the really stupid employees.

28) two words: Happy Meals.

29) McDonald's doesn't look like a big black turd.

30) Grimace don't do Vulcan Death Watches.

31) McDonald's has a slide out back.

32) To do something at McDonald's, you look at the color coded chart,
not OP umpty-squat, chapter whatever, reference 3, ACN B, rev 17.

33) If McDonald's catches fire, you LEAVE.

34) No McSmall Valve Maintenance.

35) No McCOB.

36) Leaving McDonald's in an emergency doesn't require a steinke hood
and a lot of praying.

37) The coffee's better.

38) Someone else makes the water.

39) You don't have to live there to work there.

40) The only cones come from the ice cream machine.

41) McDonald's doesn't go into dry-dock. (again and again)

42) ALL the tests are multiple choice.

43) Their TV commercials are a lot cooler.

44) Three words: Sea Foam Green.

45) Stock in McDonald's is worth something. The Navy is a part of an
operation that is 6 trillion dollars in the hole.

46) Special sauce isn't "hand made".

47) No McBilges to clean.

48) Opening for business doesn't require a full day of preparations and
everyone to show up for a brief at 0230.

49) Three words: Stupid ass hats.

50) Personnel inspection requirements are written on the door. (No
shirt, no shoes, no service)

51) At McDonald's, dislocating your shoulder is not considered getting
the good deal.

52) McDonald's never had an accident that cause a person to be stuck to
the ceiling impaled on a french fry. (i.e.. No Mc-SL1)

53) Because you deserve a break today.

54) Even the little Hamburglar is cooler than a goat.

55) Mayor McCheese doesn't wield a righteous thumb of indignation.

56) You can choose which McDonald's you want to work at.

57) If you want to buy your boss a beer, that's okay.

58) If you want to tell your boss to f*ck off and just die f*cking die,
that's okay too.

59) There is no Uniform Code of McDonald's Justice to deal with.

60) The news comes from USA Today, not Ric Crawford, GS-12.

61) No one will rack you out at 2 in the morning to start the grill.

62) Chances of you getting called back after you get off work are pretty
damn slim.

63) Putting the pickle on the hamburger doesn't require an QA-34 and a
signature to be used against you in a court of law, should they want you.

64) The only guy in a silly yellow suit is Ronald.

65) How many McDonald's were sunk in W.W.II?

66) Fixing the register doesn't require a rubber room and a rope man.

67) Nothing on the menu contains the phrases, "Horse cock" or "baboon
ass".

68) At McDonald's, the riders would have to leave at closing time.

69) $2.99 is a meal price, not a daily wage at McDonald's.

70) You don't have to go single register operations if someone spills a
Coke.

71) McDonald's doesn't require a 24 hour Shutdown Register Operator and
McRoving Watch.

72) McDonald's doesn't call your house at 5:30 in the morning blaring
some god-awful antiquated song about a bugler just to wake you up.

73) No McRadcon.

74) At McDonald's, your boss will never make you drive him around for
two and a half months so he can spy on Wendy's.

75) You will never be locked in for 24 hours pretending to operate
everything. (i.e. no McFastcruise)

75.5) You don't have to come in to work at 7:00 only to wait around for
an hour waiting for your boss to tell you things you already know.

76) At McDonald's you will never hear, "Shake machine troubleshooting
team, and all off watch drink makers, lay aft."

77) No McGMT.

78) At McDonald's you don't have to route a 1250 for a new stack of cups.

79) If you burn a hamburger they won't take away half a month's pay for
two months and restrict you to the playground.

80) Knowledge of the material of construction and variable operating
characteristics of the grill are not prerequisites for operation.

81) You don't have to take apart the shake machine once a quarter just
because.

82) You don't have to share your bed with two coworkers.

83) You don't have to shave off your goatee when the district manager
comes.

84) At McDonald's, when the toilet clogs, you don't rig pressurized air
to the ****ter.

85) You don't have to shut everything off and call in the last shift to
start the grill.

86) Early in the morning, you don't cycle the drink machine on and off
just for practice.

87) You scrub the floors because it's dirty, not because it's Wednesday.

88) There is almost always plenty of parking. If not, drive through.

89) Don't like what you got? Take it back.

90) You don't have to take a turbidity prior to putting a new catsup
dispenser on service.

91) Failure of the warming oven door to open is not a panic causing
event. It will also not preclude you from starting another fryer or
pulling the fries out of the vat due to interlock.

92) No Mc-HPACs.

93) No one hates it so bad they refer to it simply as "The Mac".

94) No 16 hour days at McDonald's prototype making burgers in the middle
of the desert for no one.

95) If you wipe up a catsup spill at McDonald's, you don't have to let
it dry before you throw it away.

96) They won't secure one of the register operators to keep track of the
people going into Burger King.

97) You don't have to have permission from the Manager, Assistant
Manager, and Register Operator before going into the freezer.

98) At McDonald's, the toilet paper stays in the bathroom, not on the
dinner table.

99) You don't have to completely undress to pinch a loaf.

100) ALL of the articles of the Constitution apply to you at McDonald's.