I used to think I was just a regular guy, but I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not,
makes me a racist.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards makes me a fascist.

I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobe.

I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.

I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel.

I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a member of the vast gun lobby.

I am older than 60 and retired, which makes me a useless old man.

I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the mainstream media tells me, which must make me
a reactionary.

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.

I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which
makes me a right-wing extremist.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits,
which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I (and most of the folks I know) acquired a fair education without student loans (it's called work)
and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of an odd underachiever.

I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens, which now makes me
a militant.

Please help me come to terms with the new me because I'm just not sure who I am anymore! I would
like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, newly found changes in my
life and my thinking! I just can't imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly!

Funny it's all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years! As if all this crap wasn't enough to
deal with now I don't know which restroom to go into.

And lastly, I don't like Harry very much which makes me all of the above all by itself!