WASHINGTON — In the strongest sign to date that he intends to seek the
2016 Republican Presidential nomination, former Florida Governor Jeb
Bush has officially resigned his position as George W. Bush’s brother.

“No longer being related to his brother is a key step to clearing Jeb’s
path to the nomination,� an aide said on New Year’s Day. “We expect his
poll numbers to soar on this.�

According to the aide, the former Florida governor resigned his post as
brother in a ten-minute phone call with George W. Bush, after which he
blocked the former President’s phone number and e-mail address.

In an official statement, George W. Bush said that he “understands and
supports� his former brother’s decision.

“If I were him, I would no longer be related to me either,� he said.

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Andy Borowitz

On 1/1/2015 8:09 PM, Keyser Söze wrote:



WASHINGTON — In the strongest sign to date that he intends to seek the
2016 Republican Presidential nomination, former Florida Governor Jeb
Bush has officially resigned his position as George W. Bush’s brother.

“No longer being related to his brother is a key step to clearing Jeb’s
path to the nomination,� an aide said on New Year’s Day. “We expect his
poll numbers to soar on this.�

According to the aide, the former Florida governor resigned his post as
brother in a ten-minute phone call with George W. Bush, after which he
blocked the former President’s phone number and e-mail address.

In an official statement, George W. Bush said that he “understands and
supports� his former brother’s decision.

“If I were him, I would no longer be related to me either,� he said.

- - -

Andy Borowitz

Yawn

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