Maryland Logic
 

Two Maryland farmers, Harry and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.
Harry turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life
without an education.

Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes."

Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to
the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up
for four basic classes:.........Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Harry says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you
would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a
yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically
have a family."

"Yes, I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you
must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic
tells me you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out
all of that because I have a weed eater."

Excited to take the class now, Harry shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to
go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how
he is signed up for Math, English, History, and
Logic.

"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?

Jim says, "Well. . . . I'll give ya an example. Do you have a
weed eater?"

"No."

"Then you're a racist queer..."

Maryland Logic
 

On 6/24/14, 12:01 PM, Poquito Loco wrote:


"Then you're a racist queer..."

Please. Find *another* hobby.


--
If right-wing assholes could fly,
rec.boats would be an airport!

Maryland Logic
 

On Tue, 24 Jun 2014 12:07:34 -0400, wrote:

On Tue, 24 Jun 2014 12:01:01 -0400, Poquito Loco
wrote:

Two Maryland farmers, Harry and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.
Harry turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life
without an education.

Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes."

Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to
the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up
for four basic classes:.........Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Harry says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you
would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a
yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically
have a family."

"Yes, I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you
must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic
tells me you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out
all of that because I have a weed eater."

Excited to take the class now, Harry shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to
go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how
he is signed up for Math, English, History, and
Logic.

"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?

Jim says, "Well. . . . I'll give ya an example. Do you have a
weed eater?"

"No."

"Then you're a racist queer..."


I have 2 weed eaters

I have a wife and an Ex with my other house.
This logic **** works!

LOL!

Maryland Logic
 

I not only have a weedeater but also chainsaws and a tractor with a bush hog. Now where's the logic in that!?!

Maryland Logic
 

On Tue, 24 Jun 2014 09:29:23 -0700 (PDT), Tim wrote:

I not only have a weedeater but also chainsaws and a tractor with a bush hog. Now where's the logic in that!?!

Have you switched to Mormonism?

Maryland Logic
 

On 6/24/14, 12:29 PM, Tim wrote:
I not only have a weedeater but also chainsaws and a tractor with a bush hog. Now where's the logic in that!?!


How many chainsaws do you have? I have but one, and it's low mileage,
because it scares me to use it. I do use it, but man oh man...high anxiety.

--
If right-wing assholes could fly,
rec.boats would be an airport!

Maryland Logic
 

On 6/24/2014 1:02 PM, wrote:
On Tue, 24 Jun 2014 09:29:23 -0700 (PDT), Tim
wrote:

I not only have a weedeater but also chainsaws and a tractor with a bush hog. Now where's the logic in that!?!

You must be a farmer.
Keep your daughter away from those traveling salesmen. ;-)

OTOH if my great grandparents took that advice, I wouldn't be here

BOTH pairs too.


Traveling salesman get stuck on the side of the road and asks the farmer
if he had a place for him to stay the night. The farmer said "sure, but
you will have to sleep upstairs in the same room as my son".. Salesman
said, "Whoops, wrong joke"... :)

Maryland Logic
 

On 6/24/14, 1:13 PM, wrote:
On Tue, 24 Jun 2014 12:50:55 -0400, F*O*A*D wrote:

How many chainsaws do you have? I have but one, and it's low mileage,
because it scares me to use it. I do use it, but man oh man...high anxiety.


I guess you don't go up a tree with it then ;-)

Maybe an electric is what you need. These days they are pretty good,
no gas to fool with and they start every time. I use mine for little
jobs and crank up the gas saw if I am getting serious.




No, I don't go up trees. Ever. I do have a good ladder I can use, brace
properly, and cut off a tree limb I can reach. I don't have any problems
starting or running the chainsaw. I don't see where an electric chainsaw
would make me feel less nervous.

--
If right-wing assholes could fly,
rec.boats would be an airport!

Maryland Logic
 

On Tue, 24 Jun 2014 13:13:44 -0400, wrote:

On Tue, 24 Jun 2014 12:50:55 -0400, F*O*A*D wrote:

How many chainsaws do you have? I have but one, and it's low mileage,
because it scares me to use it. I do use it, but man oh man...high anxiety.


I guess you don't go up a tree with it then ;-)

Maybe an electric is what you need. These days they are pretty good,
no gas to fool with and they start every time. I use mine for little
jobs and crank up the gas saw if I am getting serious.


I've got one of each, but since getting the electric, the gas one just sits. I do like that Makita!

Maryland Logic
 

wrote:
On Tue, 24 Jun 2014 12:50:55 -0400, F*O*A*D wrote:

How many chainsaws do you have? I have but one, and it's low mileage,
because it scares me to use it. I do use it, but man oh man...high anxiety.


I guess you don't go up a tree with it then ;-)

Maybe an electric is what you need. These days they are pretty good,
no gas to fool with and they start every time. I use mine for little
jobs and crank up the gas saw if I am getting serious.

I have not used my gas saw in years. The electric works every time, and
very convenient.