On Monday, March 24, 2014 8:10:51 AM UTC-7, H*a*r*r*o*l*d wrote:
The day after his wife disappeared In a kayaking accident, an Anchorage

man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.



"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife",

said one of the troopers.



"Tell me! Did you find her?", Wilkens exclaimed.



The troopers looked at each other.



One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great

news. Which would you like to hear first?"



Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."



The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found

your wife's body in Kachemak Bay .."



"Oh my God!", exclaimed Wilkens.



Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"



The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12

twenty-five-pound king crabs and 6 good-sized Dungeness crabs clinging

to her, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."



Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the

great news?"



The trooper replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

Clancy O'Dell was working at the Guinness brewery and accident drowned after fall into a huge vat of stout Ale. One of his co-workers and best friend, Tommy Callahan went to his house to tell his now widowed wife Nancy what had happened.
Naturally she was in shock to hear of the dismal news, but hoping for the best for her departed husband, she said. "Oh, I hope poor Clancy was able to die quickly..."

Tommy then said, "Well Nan, actually he didn't .. He hopped out at least three times to take a leak..."