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Best joke in the world.
In article ,
says... In article , says... On 12/28/12 11:57 AM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... A couple of rec.boats regulars, Snotty Scotty and iLoogy, are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.? There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: ?OK, now what?? - - - Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck :) What is that, gun nut "humor?" Probably be beneficial for you to have a talk with your wife about your anger. Or with somebody qualified to help you. Don't bring your guns. No, **** for brains, it's an adaptation of what several joke-ranking "surveys" claim is the Number One joke in the world at the moment. I simply changed the names of the participants to protect the innocent. What nonsense. Claiming "surveys" deem this low-brow trash "Number One joke in the world." Who were the survey respondents? Wayne LaPierre, Clint Eastwood, Soupy Sales and the Three Stooges? Is that your speed? He has to get his ego boost from something, everyone knows he's a lying, good for nothing tax deadbeat. |
Best joke in the world.
In article ,
says... On 12/28/12 12:20 PM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... On 12/28/12 11:57 AM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... A couple of rec.boats regulars, Snotty Scotty and iLoogy, are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.? There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: ?OK, now what?? - - - Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck :) What is that, gun nut "humor?" Probably be beneficial for you to have a talk with your wife about your anger. Or with somebody qualified to help you. Don't bring your guns. No, **** for brains, it's an adaptation of what several joke-ranking "surveys" claim is the Number One joke in the world at the moment. I simply changed the names of the participants to protect the innocent. What nonsense. Claiming "surveys" deem this low-brow trash "Number One joke in the world." Who were the survey respondents? Wayne LaPierre, Clint Eastwood, Soupy Sales and the Three Stooges? Is that your speed? You seem to need something useful to do, so...start he World's funniest joke From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia This article is about research on the relative humour in different jokes and cultures. For the Monty Python sketch about jokes as military weapons, see The Funniest Joke in the World. The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries. The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject. Contents 1 The jokes 2 Other findings 3 References 4 External links The jokes The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan, was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" The second place finisher and early leader was this joke, submitted by Geoff Anandappa of Blackpool: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it?s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent." While this was the top joke in the UK: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off ? go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." Does telling jokes about others make you feel better about not paying your taxes and other debt obligations? |
Best joke in the world.
On 12/28/12 12:40 PM, iBoaterer wrote:
In article , says... On 12/28/12 12:20 PM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... On 12/28/12 11:57 AM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... A couple of rec.boats regulars, Snotty Scotty and iLoogy, are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.? There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: ?OK, now what?? - - - Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck :) What is that, gun nut "humor?" Probably be beneficial for you to have a talk with your wife about your anger. Or with somebody qualified to help you. Don't bring your guns. No, **** for brains, it's an adaptation of what several joke-ranking "surveys" claim is the Number One joke in the world at the moment. I simply changed the names of the participants to protect the innocent. What nonsense. Claiming "surveys" deem this low-brow trash "Number One joke in the world." Who were the survey respondents? Wayne LaPierre, Clint Eastwood, Soupy Sales and the Three Stooges? Is that your speed? You seem to need something useful to do, so...start he World's funniest joke From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia This article is about research on the relative humour in different jokes and cultures. For the Monty Python sketch about jokes as military weapons, see The Funniest Joke in the World. The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries. The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject. Contents 1 The jokes 2 Other findings 3 References 4 External links The jokes The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan, was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" The second place finisher and early leader was this joke, submitted by Geoff Anandappa of Blackpool: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it?s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent." While this was the top joke in the UK: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off ? go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." Does telling jokes about others make you feel better about not paying your taxes and other debt obligations? Why are you concerned about jokes about iLoogy? Oh, I forgot...iLoogy is your altered ego. |
Best joke in the world.
In article ,
says... On 12/28/12 12:40 PM, iBoaterer wrote: In article , says... On 12/28/12 12:20 PM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... On 12/28/12 11:57 AM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... A couple of rec.boats regulars, Snotty Scotty and iLoogy, are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.? There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: ?OK, now what?? - - - Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck :) What is that, gun nut "humor?" Probably be beneficial for you to have a talk with your wife about your anger. Or with somebody qualified to help you. Don't bring your guns. No, **** for brains, it's an adaptation of what several joke-ranking "surveys" claim is the Number One joke in the world at the moment. I simply changed the names of the participants to protect the innocent. What nonsense. Claiming "surveys" deem this low-brow trash "Number One joke in the world." Who were the survey respondents? Wayne LaPierre, Clint Eastwood, Soupy Sales and the Three Stooges? Is that your speed? You seem to need something useful to do, so...start he World's funniest joke From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia This article is about research on the relative humour in different jokes and cultures. For the Monty Python sketch about jokes as military weapons, see The Funniest Joke in the World. The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries. The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject. Contents 1 The jokes 2 Other findings 3 References 4 External links The jokes The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan, was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" The second place finisher and early leader was this joke, submitted by Geoff Anandappa of Blackpool: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it?s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent." While this was the top joke in the UK: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off ? go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." Does telling jokes about others make you feel better about not paying your taxes and other debt obligations? Why are you concerned about jokes about iLoogy? Oh, I forgot...iLoogy is your altered ego. Uh, no, but what I'm concerned about is you paying your taxes, deadbeat. What a true piece of **** you are, come here and espouse everyone paying more taxes, how have the best health insurance there is, you are better than everyone else, and come to find out you are in arrears for debts and taxes. |
Best joke in the world.
On 12/28/12 12:53 PM, iBoaterer wrote:
In article , says... On 12/28/12 12:40 PM, iBoaterer wrote: In article , says... On 12/28/12 12:20 PM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... On 12/28/12 11:57 AM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... A couple of rec.boats regulars, Snotty Scotty and iLoogy, are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.? There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: ?OK, now what?? - - - Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck :) What is that, gun nut "humor?" Probably be beneficial for you to have a talk with your wife about your anger. Or with somebody qualified to help you. Don't bring your guns. No, **** for brains, it's an adaptation of what several joke-ranking "surveys" claim is the Number One joke in the world at the moment. I simply changed the names of the participants to protect the innocent. What nonsense. Claiming "surveys" deem this low-brow trash "Number One joke in the world." Who were the survey respondents? Wayne LaPierre, Clint Eastwood, Soupy Sales and the Three Stooges? Is that your speed? You seem to need something useful to do, so...start he World's funniest joke From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia This article is about research on the relative humour in different jokes and cultures. For the Monty Python sketch about jokes as military weapons, see The Funniest Joke in the World. The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries. The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject. Contents 1 The jokes 2 Other findings 3 References 4 External links The jokes The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan, was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" The second place finisher and early leader was this joke, submitted by Geoff Anandappa of Blackpool: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it?s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent." While this was the top joke in the UK: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off ? go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." Does telling jokes about others make you feel better about not paying your taxes and other debt obligations? Why are you concerned about jokes about iLoogy? Oh, I forgot...iLoogy is your altered ego. Uh, no, UH, YES. |
Best joke in the world.
In article ,
says... On 12/28/12 12:53 PM, iBoaterer wrote: In article , says... On 12/28/12 12:40 PM, iBoaterer wrote: In article , says... On 12/28/12 12:20 PM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... On 12/28/12 11:57 AM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... A couple of rec.boats regulars, Snotty Scotty and iLoogy, are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.? There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: ?OK, now what?? - - - Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck :) What is that, gun nut "humor?" Probably be beneficial for you to have a talk with your wife about your anger. Or with somebody qualified to help you. Don't bring your guns. No, **** for brains, it's an adaptation of what several joke-ranking "surveys" claim is the Number One joke in the world at the moment. I simply changed the names of the participants to protect the innocent. What nonsense. Claiming "surveys" deem this low-brow trash "Number One joke in the world." Who were the survey respondents? Wayne LaPierre, Clint Eastwood, Soupy Sales and the Three Stooges? Is that your speed? You seem to need something useful to do, so...start he World's funniest joke From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia This article is about research on the relative humour in different jokes and cultures. For the Monty Python sketch about jokes as military weapons, see The Funniest Joke in the World. The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries. The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject. Contents 1 The jokes 2 Other findings 3 References 4 External links The jokes The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan, was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" The second place finisher and early leader was this joke, submitted by Geoff Anandappa of Blackpool: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it?s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent." While this was the top joke in the UK: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off ? go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." Does telling jokes about others make you feel better about not paying your taxes and other debt obligations? Why are you concerned about jokes about iLoogy? Oh, I forgot...iLoogy is your altered ego. Uh, no, UH, YES. Gee, Harry, why did you delete the part about you being a deadbeat who doesn't pay his taxes and debts? |
Best joke in the world.
On 12/28/2012 12:06 PM, ESAD wrote:
On 12/28/12 11:57 AM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... A couple of rec.boats regulars, Snotty Scotty and iLoogy, are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.? There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: ?OK, now what?? - - - Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck :) What is that, gun nut "humor?" Probably be beneficial for you to have a talk with your wife about your anger. Or with somebody qualified to help you. Don't bring your guns. No, **** for brains, it's an adaptation of what several joke-ranking "surveys" claim is the Number One joke in the world at the moment. I simply changed the names of the participants to protect the innocent. You are living on the dark side, you sick *******. |
Best joke in the world.
On 12/28/2012 1:07 PM, wrote:
On Fri, 28 Dec 2012 12:06:24 -0500, ESAD wrote: On 12/28/12 11:57 AM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... A couple of rec.boats regulars, Snotty Scotty and iLoogy, are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.? There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: ?OK, now what?? - - - Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck :) What is that, gun nut "humor?" Probably be beneficial for you to have a talk with your wife about your anger. Or with somebody qualified to help you. Don't bring your guns. No, **** for brains, it's an adaptation of what several joke-ranking "surveys" claim is the Number One joke in the world at the moment. I simply changed the names of the participants to protect the innocent. I know it was funny when I heard it in the 50s. You were about 10 at the time. Harry is in his late 60s. |
Best joke in the world.
In article ,
says... On 12/28/12 11:57 AM, Boating All Out wrote: In article , says... A couple of rec.boats regulars, Snotty Scotty and iLoogy, are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.? There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: ?OK, now what?? - - - Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck :) What is that, gun nut "humor?" Probably be beneficial for you to have a talk with your wife about your anger. Or with somebody qualified to help you. Don't bring your guns. No, **** for brains, it's an adaptation of what several joke-ranking "surveys" claim is the Number One joke in the world at the moment. I simply changed the names of the participants to protect the innocent. "Joke-ranking surveys?" What the **** is that? |
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