The New Republican Bible:

"You were hungry and thirsty, so I eliminated funding for
Meals on Wheels.

"You were a stranger, so I vilified you and demanded you be deported.

"You were naked, so I called you an evil liberal who hates conservative
family values.

"You were sick, so I repealed your only hope for health care.

"You were in prison, so I tortured you."

--Matthew 26.31-46 in
The Republican Conservative Bible, newly revised.