October 14, 2011
Wrong People Arrested on Wall Street
Goldman Boss: ‘Thought They Were Finally Coming for Us’

By Andy Borowitz

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Millions of Americans cheered the news
on Friday that arrests had finally been made on Wall Street, but were
soon disappointed to learn that the wrong people had been taken into
custody.

“I was like, finally they’re going to get those *******s,” said Tracy
Klugian, 27, of Queens, New York, whose hopes were raised by an “Arrests
on Wall Street” graphic he saw on CNN. “I guess it was too good to be
true.”

NYPD spokesman Frank Hannefy explained the controversial decision to
arrest Occupy Wall Street protesters while leaving the people who had
brought the nation’s economy to the brink of Armageddon unmolested.

“As far as soulless individuals pillaging the country for their personal
gain, that’s none of our business,” he said. “But we’ll be damned if
we’re going to let people march on newly seeded grass.”

At banking giant Goldman Sachs, chairman Lloyd Blankfein admitted that
when he heard police sirens outside his building, “I was sure they were
finally coming for us.”

The Goldman chief said he started running up and down the halls
“screaming at people to feed the document shredder like Chris Christie
at a pie-eating contest.”

Mr. Blankfein said that he felt “palpable relief” when he realized that
the police had come to arrest the protesters and were leaving the
bankers at large.

“That was a close one,” he said, chuckling. “We’re all going to have a
good laugh about this over the weekend in the Caymans.”

Elsewhere, Texas Governor Rick Perry announced what he called his
"1-1-1" plan: "Every American gets 1 percent tax, 1 mandatory
vaccination, and 1 execution."

Yes, I said it: Obama is a racist. As the white, conservative mother
of black/Mexican/white children, I know a racist when I hear one. So
is his buddy, Henry Louis Gates. Don't let these two Ivy League-
educated, erudite, distinguished black men convince you that only
whites can be racists. Believe me, these two men are the worst kind of
racists: black and elitist.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a racist is someone who
believes "all members of each racial group possess characteristics or
abilities specific to that race, especially to distinguish it as being
either superior or inferior to another racial group or racial groups."
When Sgt. Crowley investigated a possible burglary at Prof. Gates'
Cambridge home this week, Gates met a white cop at his door and
evidently assumed Crowley was a bad cop, a rogue, a racist cop who
would treat him differently than any other suspected perp, just
because he was black. That's racism, folks! What did Gates do when
faced with a police officer investigating a burglary in his home? Was
Gates polite and courteous to the cop? Did he cooperate and step onto
the porch out of the darkened home so Crowley could see his face and
ID? Did he calmly explain why a passerby saw him breaking in, if, in
fact, it was his own house? Did he speak or act like the esteemed
scholar and professor his ID claimed him to be?

Nope. He was belligerent, accusatory, uncooperative, irrational and
defamatory, throwing racial slurs at the white officer, even insulting
the cop's mother (as in, "Yo momma is so..."). If ever a man did NOT
act with Harvard professorial dignity and decorum, if ever a black man
acted like a thug from the ‘hood, Gates did. Is it any wonder Officer
Crowley asked for more ID, one that actually listed that house as his
address, or asked for another person to corroborate Gates' identity? I
would, wouldn't you?

And when Gates refused, and became so incensed and insulting to the
Sergeant who was there to protect his property that a crowd grew
around his house, was Crowley supposed to allow this kind of behavior,
just because Gates was black? No. He arrested Gates for disorderly
conduct, as he was trained to do. Last time I checked, police arrest
people regardless of race when they act like crazy people in the
presence of peace officers.

So why is President Obama a racist? Because he, like his friend Gates,
automatically assumed the white police officer "acted stupidly." BO
assumed it was the white officer's fault, because, of course, we all
know white cops are racist, right? And later, when he slightly
retracted his statement, he still felt the need to say, "It would have
been better if cooler heads had prevailed." By now he knew the facts,
that his friend Gates had lost his mind and acted like a fool, but he
assumed that Sgt. Crowley similarly lost it and "got all up" in Gates'
face, because, of course, that's what all white cops do.

But this white cop didn't, because he's not just any cop, he is an
expert at managing racial incidents just like this one became, because
of Gates' racism. Friends and fellow officers of all races say Sgt.
James Crowley is calm and reliable in situations racially hostile
situs, because he was hand-picked by a black police commissioner to
teach recruits how to avoid racial profiling, and Crowley has
apparently been doing a stellar job at it for 5 years.

But Gates and our esteemed president didn't know that, did they?

So, who are the racists in this story? Gates accused a decent,
decorated, above-reproach police officer of being a racist rogue cop,
just because he was white. What did our esteemed "black" president do?
He immediately took Gates' side, because he's a friend and black! Um,
Mr. President, I thought you were going to help erase the racial lines
that divide us? Shame on you for taking sides on something you
admitted you knew nothing about, for commenting nationally on a small,
local issue well beneath your pay grade, and for showing us all that
you are not that different that the racist Gates who believes all
white cops are bad cops, just because of their skin color.

Mr. President, you are a racist. Shame on you.

On 10/14/11 9:06 PM, JustWaitAFrekinMinute! wrote:
Yes, I said it: Obama is a racist. As the white, conservative mother
of black/Mexican/white children, I know a racist when I hear one.


You had a sex change operation?

snerk

On Oct 14, 10:32*pm, X ` Man wrote:
On 10/14/11 9:06 PM, JustWaitAFrekinMinute! wrote:

Yes, I said it: Obama is a racist. As the white, conservative mother
of black/Mexican/white children, I know a racist when I hear one.

You had a sex change operation?

*snerk


Sure explains a lot!

On 14/10/2011 7:06 PM, JustWaitAFrekinMinute! wrote:
Yes, I said it: Obama is a racist. As the white, conservative mother
of black/Mexican/white children, I know a racist when I hear one. So
is his buddy, Henry Louis Gates. Don't let these two Ivy League-
educated, erudite, distinguished black men convince you that only
whites can be racists. Believe me, these two men are the worst kind of
racists: black and elitist.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a racist is someone who
believes "all members of each racial group possess characteristics or
abilities specific to that race, especially to distinguish it as being
either superior or inferior to another racial group or racial groups."
When Sgt. Crowley investigated a possible burglary at Prof. Gates'
Cambridge home this week, Gates met a white cop at his door and
evidently assumed Crowley was a bad cop, a rogue, a racist cop who
would treat him differently than any other suspected perp, just
because he was black. That's racism, folks! What did Gates do when
faced with a police officer investigating a burglary in his home? Was
Gates polite and courteous to the cop? Did he cooperate and step onto
the porch out of the darkened home so Crowley could see his face and
ID? Did he calmly explain why a passerby saw him breaking in, if, in
fact, it was his own house? Did he speak or act like the esteemed
scholar and professor his ID claimed him to be?

Nope. He was belligerent, accusatory, uncooperative, irrational and
defamatory, throwing racial slurs at the white officer, even insulting
the cop's mother (as in, "Yo momma is so..."). If ever a man did NOT
act with Harvard professorial dignity and decorum, if ever a black man
acted like a thug from the ‘hood, Gates did. Is it any wonder Officer
Crowley asked for more ID, one that actually listed that house as his
address, or asked for another person to corroborate Gates' identity? I
would, wouldn't you?

And when Gates refused, and became so incensed and insulting to the
Sergeant who was there to protect his property that a crowd grew
around his house, was Crowley supposed to allow this kind of behavior,
just because Gates was black? No. He arrested Gates for disorderly
conduct, as he was trained to do. Last time I checked, police arrest
people regardless of race when they act like crazy people in the
presence of peace officers.

So why is President Obama a racist? Because he, like his friend Gates,
automatically assumed the white police officer "acted stupidly." BO
assumed it was the white officer's fault, because, of course, we all
know white cops are racist, right? And later, when he slightly
retracted his statement, he still felt the need to say, "It would have
been better if cooler heads had prevailed." By now he knew the facts,
that his friend Gates had lost his mind and acted like a fool, but he
assumed that Sgt. Crowley similarly lost it and "got all up" in Gates'
face, because, of course, that's what all white cops do.

But this white cop didn't, because he's not just any cop, he is an
expert at managing racial incidents just like this one became, because
of Gates' racism. Friends and fellow officers of all races say Sgt.
James Crowley is calm and reliable in situations racially hostile
situs, because he was hand-picked by a black police commissioner to
teach recruits how to avoid racial profiling, and Crowley has
apparently been doing a stellar job at it for 5 years.

But Gates and our esteemed president didn't know that, did they?

So, who are the racists in this story? Gates accused a decent,
decorated, above-reproach police officer of being a racist rogue cop,
just because he was white. What did our esteemed "black" president do?
He immediately took Gates' side, because he's a friend and black! Um,
Mr. President, I thought you were going to help erase the racial lines
that divide us? Shame on you for taking sides on something you
admitted you knew nothing about, for commenting nationally on a small,
local issue well beneath your pay grade, and for showing us all that
you are not that different that the racist Gates who believes all
white cops are bad cops, just because of their skin color.

Mr. President, you are a racist. Shame on you.

Pretty obvious to me in less than 6 months into his term. Too much
"black" pandering, too much persecution of the "rich" and businesses,
ignoring that he is supposed to represent "We the People...".

Funny how Obama is black, has purported knowledge of the slavery of
blacks. Yet is so eager for just more debt to enslave his kids with
debt-tax slavery in their futures. Not only is he racist, he is
irrational and has no integrity. Just a pandering liberal loser with a
big mouth.

--
Eat the rich, screw the companies and wonder why there are no jobs. But
we have big huge government we can't afford...
-- Obama and the lefty fleabagger attitude

On 10/14/2011 7:36 PM, X ` Man wrote:

C&P From his favorite news source A.B.


Anyone seen a mission statment from these protesters?

"Drifter" wrote in message
b.com...

On 10/14/2011 7:36 PM, X ` Man wrote:

C&P From his favorite news source A.B.


Anyone seen a mission statment from these protesters?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Venting frustration. Understandable, but totally ineffective.
Here's why, IMO:

They are protesting the wrong people and groups. Think about it.
Your CPA or tax return preparer will advise you to take every legal
deduction available to you on your individual tax returns.
Those legal deductions (and legal loopholes) are legislated and determined
by ...... guess who?

Business tax returns and rules governing Wall Street operations are also
subject to legal deductions and loopholes,
legislated and determined by ...... guess who?

The protesters are targeting the wrong groups. The group that should be
protested and voted out of office are the career
politicians in DC who determine and write the rules that individuals, banks,
businesses and Wall Street are subject to.
These corrupt politicians .... on both sides of the political spectrum ....
have established too many IOU's over their "careers"
and have muddied the waters with BS to cast the blame on everyone else other
than themselves.

And we are stupid enough to believe them and continue to re-elect them.

On Sat, 15 Oct 2011 09:45:08 -0400, "Eisboch" wrote:



"Drifter" wrote in message
eb.com...

On 10/14/2011 7:36 PM, X ` Man wrote:

C&P From his favorite news source A.B.


Anyone seen a mission statment from these protesters?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Venting frustration. Understandable, but totally ineffective.
Here's why, IMO:

They are protesting the wrong people and groups. Think about it.
Your CPA or tax return preparer will advise you to take every legal
deduction available to you on your individual tax returns.
Those legal deductions (and legal loopholes) are legislated and determined
by ...... guess who?

Business tax returns and rules governing Wall Street operations are also
subject to legal deductions and loopholes,
legislated and determined by ...... guess who?

The protesters are targeting the wrong groups. The group that should be
protested and voted out of office are the career
politicians in DC who determine and write the rules that individuals, banks,
businesses and Wall Street are subject to.
These corrupt politicians .... on both sides of the political spectrum ....
have established too many IOU's over their "careers"
and have muddied the waters with BS to cast the blame on everyone else other
than themselves.

And we are stupid enough to believe them and continue to re-elect them.



I'm not going to vote for Obama again!

On 10/15/2011 9:45 AM, Eisboch wrote:


"Drifter" wrote in message
b.com...

On 10/14/2011 7:36 PM, X ` Man wrote:

C&P From his favorite news source A.B.


Anyone seen a mission statment from these protesters?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Venting frustration. Understandable, but totally ineffective.
Here's why, IMO:

They are protesting the wrong people and groups. Think about it.
Your CPA or tax return preparer will advise you to take every legal
deduction available to you on your individual tax returns.
Those legal deductions (and legal loopholes) are legislated and
determined by ...... guess who?

Business tax returns and rules governing Wall Street operations are also
subject to legal deductions and loopholes,
legislated and determined by ...... guess who?

The protesters are targeting the wrong groups. The group that should be
protested and voted out of office are the career
politicians in DC who determine and write the rules that individuals,
banks, businesses and Wall Street are subject to.
These corrupt politicians .... on both sides of the political spectrum
.... have established too many IOU's over their "careers"
and have muddied the waters with BS to cast the blame on everyone else
other than themselves.

And we are stupid enough to believe them and continue to re-elect them.



You are far too logical and analytical to be a liberal.

On 10/15/2011 11:12 AM, John H wrote:
On Sat, 15 Oct 2011 09:45:08 -0400, wrote:



"Drifter" wrote in message
b.com...

On 10/14/2011 7:36 PM, X ` Man wrote:

C&P From his favorite news source A.B.


Anyone seen a mission statment from these protesters?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Venting frustration. Understandable, but totally ineffective.
Here's why, IMO:

They are protesting the wrong people and groups. Think about it.
Your CPA or tax return preparer will advise you to take every legal
deduction available to you on your individual tax returns.
Those legal deductions (and legal loopholes) are legislated and determined
by ...... guess who?

Business tax returns and rules governing Wall Street operations are also
subject to legal deductions and loopholes,
legislated and determined by ...... guess who?

The protesters are targeting the wrong groups. The group that should be
protested and voted out of office are the career
politicians in DC who determine and write the rules that individuals, banks,
businesses and Wall Street are subject to.
These corrupt politicians .... on both sides of the political spectrum ....
have established too many IOU's over their "careers"
and have muddied the waters with BS to cast the blame on everyone else other
than themselves.

And we are stupid enough to believe them and continue to re-elect them.



I'm not going to vote for Obama again!

You're just saying that to prove you weren't a racist and aren't stupid
anymore. ;-)