Got a letter from Rick Perry
 

September 14, 2011
A Letter from Rick Perry
Introducing PerryCare™

Dear American,

For the last few weeks I’ve been under constant attack. My opponents
would have you believe that if I’m elected, you’ll be stripped of your
Social Security benefits and will be scrounging for food in dumpsters
with all the desperation of a feral cat.

Of course, that’s true. But what they don’t tell you is what I’d
replace Social Security with: an amazing new program I like to call
PerryCare™.

Under PerryCare™, you’ll receive all the food, clothing and shelter you
need, and it won’t cost a dime in taxes. How if that possible? Simple:
you’ll be praying for all those things.

As a PerryCare™ recipient, each week you’ll receive in your email box a
PerryCare™ PrayerMail™, giving you an easy-to-recite prayer for the
bread, milk, cat food or whatever else you need to survive. It’s like a
Groupon from God.

PerryCare™ is more than a replacement for that infernal Ponzi scheme
that has bamboozled Americans with regular monthly checks for 75 years.
It is part of my larger plan to return prayer to its rightful place in
American life. I get down on my knees every night and I promise you, if
I am elected your President, I will bring this entire country to its knees.

I expect that some of my opponents will laugh at my plan, especially
that lawn gnome Ron Paul and Michele “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann. Fine, let
them laugh! Laughter is the best medicine. And if I am elected, there
will be no other medicine.

That brings me to my PerryCare™ medical plan, which will replace
Medicare once I consign that Ponzi scheme to the electric chair of
history. I don’t have enough time to go into the whole plan right now,
but here it is in two words: single prayer.

Your next President,

Gov. Rick Perry

From Andy Borowitz, of course
--
I'd much rather be a champion of the powerless than a lickspittle of the
powerful.

Got a letter from Rick Perry
 

On 9/14/2011 3:55 PM, X ` Man wrote:

September 14, 2011
A Letter from Rick Perry
Introducing PerryCare™

Dear American,

For the last few weeks I’ve been under constant attack. My opponents
would have you believe that if I’m elected, you’ll be stripped of your
Social Security benefits and will be scrounging for food in dumpsters
with all the desperation of a feral cat.

Of course, that’s true. But what they don’t tell you is what I’d replace
Social Security with: an amazing new program I like to call PerryCare™.

Under PerryCare™, you’ll receive all the food, clothing and shelter you
need, and it won’t cost a dime in taxes. How if that possible? Simple:
you’ll be praying for all those things.

As a PerryCare™ recipient, each week you’ll receive in your email box a
PerryCare™ PrayerMail™, giving you an easy-to-recite prayer for the
bread, milk, cat food or whatever else you need to survive. It’s like a
Groupon from God.

PerryCare™ is more than a replacement for that infernal Ponzi scheme
that has bamboozled Americans with regular monthly checks for 75 years.
It is part of my larger plan to return prayer to its rightful place in
American life. I get down on my knees every night and I promise you, if
I am elected your President, I will bring this entire country to its knees.

I expect that some of my opponents will laugh at my plan, especially
that lawn gnome Ron Paul and Michele “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann. Fine, let
them laugh! Laughter is the best medicine. And if I am elected, there
will be no other medicine.

That brings me to my PerryCare™ medical plan, which will replace
Medicare once I consign that Ponzi scheme to the electric chair of
history. I don’t have enough time to go into the whole plan right now,
but here it is in two words: single prayer.

Your next President,

Gov. Rick Perry

From Andy Borowitz, of course

If you like comedy, you should go work for Jeff Dunham. He'll shove a
stick up your ass and get you to say some pretty funny stuff.

Got a letter from Rick Perry
 

On 9/14/2011 6:14 PM, Drifter wrote:
On 9/14/2011 3:55 PM, X ` Man wrote:

September 14, 2011
A Letter from Rick Perry
Introducing PerryCare™

Dear American,

For the last few weeks I’ve been under constant attack. My opponents
would have you believe that if I’m elected, you’ll be stripped of your
Social Security benefits and will be scrounging for food in dumpsters
with all the desperation of a feral cat.

Of course, that’s true. But what they don’t tell you is what I’d replace
Social Security with: an amazing new program I like to call PerryCare™.

Under PerryCare™, you’ll receive all the food, clothing and shelter you
need, and it won’t cost a dime in taxes. How if that possible? Simple:
you’ll be praying for all those things.

As a PerryCare™ recipient, each week you’ll receive in your email box a
PerryCare™ PrayerMail™, giving you an easy-to-recite prayer for the
bread, milk, cat food or whatever else you need to survive. It’s like a
Groupon from God.

PerryCare™ is more than a replacement for that infernal Ponzi scheme
that has bamboozled Americans with regular monthly checks for 75 years.
It is part of my larger plan to return prayer to its rightful place in
American life. I get down on my knees every night and I promise you, if
I am elected your President, I will bring this entire country to its
knees.

I expect that some of my opponents will laugh at my plan, especially
that lawn gnome Ron Paul and Michele “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann. Fine, let
them laugh! Laughter is the best medicine. And if I am elected, there
will be no other medicine.

That brings me to my PerryCare™ medical plan, which will replace
Medicare once I consign that Ponzi scheme to the electric chair of
history. I don’t have enough time to go into the whole plan right now,
but here it is in two words: single prayer.

Your next President,

Gov. Rick Perry

From Andy Borowitz, of course

If you like comedy, you should go work for Jeff Dunham. He'll shove a
stick up your ass and get you to say some pretty funny stuff.

Borowitz is an asshole... I would love to run the ****er down. Typical
liberal piece of ****, hates America, but makes each and every penny he
earns on our backs. I hope somebody shoots the ****er, hopefully they
will take the rest of his gene pool with him too...

Got a letter from Rick Perry
 

On 9/14/11 8:05 PM, JustWait wrote:
On 9/14/2011 6:14 PM, Drifter wrote:
On 9/14/2011 3:55 PM, X ` Man wrote:

September 14, 2011
A Letter from Rick Perry
Introducing PerryCare™

Dear American,

For the last few weeks I’ve been under constant attack. My opponents
would have you believe that if I’m elected, you’ll be stripped of your
Social Security benefits and will be scrounging for food in dumpsters
with all the desperation of a feral cat.

Of course, that’s true. But what they don’t tell you is what I’d replace
Social Security with: an amazing new program I like to call PerryCare™.

Under PerryCare™, you’ll receive all the food, clothing and shelter you
need, and it won’t cost a dime in taxes. How if that possible? Simple:
you’ll be praying for all those things.

As a PerryCare™ recipient, each week you’ll receive in your email box a
PerryCare™ PrayerMail™, giving you an easy-to-recite prayer for the
bread, milk, cat food or whatever else you need to survive. It’s like a
Groupon from God.

PerryCare™ is more than a replacement for that infernal Ponzi scheme
that has bamboozled Americans with regular monthly checks for 75 years.
It is part of my larger plan to return prayer to its rightful place in
American life. I get down on my knees every night and I promise you, if
I am elected your President, I will bring this entire country to its
knees.

I expect that some of my opponents will laugh at my plan, especially
that lawn gnome Ron Paul and Michele “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann. Fine, let
them laugh! Laughter is the best medicine. And if I am elected, there
will be no other medicine.

That brings me to my PerryCare™ medical plan, which will replace
Medicare once I consign that Ponzi scheme to the electric chair of
history. I don’t have enough time to go into the whole plan right now,
but here it is in two words: single prayer.

Your next President,

Gov. Rick Perry

From Andy Borowitz, of course

If you like comedy, you should go work for Jeff Dunham. He'll shove a
stick up your ass and get you to say some pretty funny stuff.

Borowitz is an asshole... I would love to run the ****er down. Typical
liberal piece of ****, hates America, but makes each and every penny he
earns on our backs. I hope somebody shoots the ****er, hopefully they
will take the rest of his gene pool with him too...


And yet another post from Snotty in which he expresses a desire to
resolve his differences with others via violence.

Methinks Snotty dislikes Borowitz because Andy speaks the truth to the
conservative crapmeisters in whom Snotty believes.


--
I'd much rather be a champion of the powerless than a lickspittle of the
powerful.