Hey, people get hurt boating so in the interest of keeping costs down
we may have federal boating speed limits. Oh, no more wakeboarding
either. Swimming will only be legal in areas with federally licensed
lifeguards. Rock climbing, faggedaboutit. Hang gliding, be serious,
no way, totally illegal. Playgrounds, ok but only if the kids are
immobilized in restraint harnesses on a hypoallergenic soft surface.