There aint nuthin like money fallin like manna from heaven to make
bureaucrats act foolish; so as they look forward to the "Stimulus"
money arriving, local bureaucrats here in Tallahassee have been
mightily struggling to find ways to spend it. Not having better
sense, they propose to spend it on turtles, yes, you read right,
turtles, you know, like Yurtle.
Seems that back in 1935, US 27 was built next to Lake Jackson North of
Tallahassee cutting off a tiny pond and every now and then a turtle
wanders across the road and gets squished. Of course, there is a
culvert under the road and so the road serves as a sort of unnatural
selection mechanism for turtle intelligence but local eco-fools want
to give mentally handicapped turtles a chance so they propose to build
a "Kinder and Gentler Culvert". Originally, they talked of a $12
million dollar turtle underpass but when this seemed too much like
something out of Onion the cost suddenly dropped to ONLY $4 million.
The local newspaper has been pushing the new turtle parkway with tales
of mass turtle-icide and turtles flying thru windshields although
nobody else knows of this happening. In fact all the years I have
been here I only remember one incident of a small gator crossing and
stopping traffic.
I pointed out to a local bureaucrat that for this cost they could have
given a steak dinner, an escort service and limousine ride to the
other side of the road for every turtle that has crossed the rode in
the last 10 years but she was not amused.
It just goes to show that when foolish Obamacrats spend your money, it
gets spent foolishly.