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font face="Courier New, Courier, monospace"Off topic, but funny as
hell:br
br
==============================br
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an
individual laterbr
discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested
tryingbr
to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor,br
a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. br
br
At a morning press conference, Attorney
general John Ashcroftbr
said he believes the man is a member of the
notorious al-gebrabr
movement. He is being charged by the FBI with
carrying weaponsbr
of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,",
Ashcroftbr
said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes,
andbr
sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. Theybr
use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves asbr
"unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a commonbr
denominator
of the axis of medieval with coordinates in everybr
country. "As the
Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, therebr
are 3 sides to every
>triangle," Ashcroft declared. br
br
When asked to comment on the arrest,
President Bush said, "If Godbr
had wanted us to have better weapons of
math instruction, He wouldbr
have given us more fingers and toes. "I am
gratified that ourbr
government has given us a sine that it is intent on
protracting usbr
from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us
with calculusbr
disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on
every spherebr
of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the
circumferences,br
we must differentiate their root, make our point, and
draw the line."br
President Bush warned, "These weapons of math
instruction have thebr
potential to decimal everything in their math on a
scalene neverbr
before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power
and begin tobr
factor-in random facts of vertex." br
br
Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our
Great Leader would say, readbr
my ellipse. Here is one principle he is
uncertainty of though theybr
continue to multiply, their days are
numbered as the hypotenuse tightensbr
around their necks." br
br
br
-- br
Jon Gauthierbr
br
Given the likely reaction to an increase inbr
terror-alert level to "severe threat imminent,"br
wouldn't a more appropriate alert color be brown?br
-Brad Simanek on a class="moz-txt-link-abbreviated" href="http://www.ruminate.com"www.ruminate.com/a/font
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