Let's look at the safety features of Boulevard cars, namely the Subaru
Tribeca.

It has been touted for it's safety in crash tests, with air bags deploying,
DVD players crushing, sound systems blasting alarms, cup holders unfolding
at the like. This is all passive safety and rightly so this car is laden
with it, 4500 lbs worth.

Why? Because it is lacking in active safety features. Active safety features
help the driver avoid accidents. Things like acceleration, steering,
visibility, etc contribute to avoiding accidents. The Tribeca's acceleration
is glacial. It will never outrun that Boar's Head Truck closing in on you.
Nimbleness and steering? Forget that, it handles like a large truck,
probably that Boar's Head one. The pig can't overcome it's own inertia, it
can't get out of its own way! No wonder life rafts must inflate from every
corner upon impact!

At least the gas tank is miniscule and the fuel consumption is high so the
chances of collision are small because you're always at the gas station
filling up. If you are on the road, chances are the gas tank isn't holding
much. This car is not going to erupt into a fireball, like the STI.

Get a load of that STI! A hood scoop and an elevated rear spoiler! The body
designers saw one too many episodes of "Dukes of Hazard"! Where's the air
dam and flame decals on the side?!?! That's the car for 18 year olds or the
retired person who is trying to recapture a youth never lived (he spent all
his time working as life passed him by). What's missing is the big "L" on
the sides for loser! No wonder this car was only offered one year!

And Brutus is an honorable man!

Amen!