The Center for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a warning
about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The
disease is
contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior,and has been named
Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").

Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the
previous four years.

Characteristics of individuals infected include: cognitive and
anti-social
personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones,
extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information,
pronounced xenophobia and paranoia,inability to accept responsibility
for
own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial
smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards
evangelical
theocracy, and categorical all-or-nothing behavior.

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how destructive this
disease
has become since it originated only a few years ago and affects people
who
have come into contact with a bush found in Texas.


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