BoatBanter.com

BoatBanter.com (https://www.boatbanter.com/)
-   ASA (https://www.boatbanter.com/asa/)
-   -   I am the President! (https://www.boatbanter.com/asa/25489-re-i-am-president.html)

Capt. Neal® December 4th 04 10:36 PM


But, he could have seen the lack of a scrotum without
you having to raise up the tail. C'mon, admit it. I caught
you telling a whopper. I'm not criticizing, however as
all good sailors tell a whopper once in a while.

That you did just makes you one of the boys.

CN

PS Bulls will mount and poke a burlap sack full of
straw on a sawhorse. A stallion has a lot less lust
and a lot more sense. It's got to have the real thing
and the real thing must be in estrus.

"katysails" wrote in message ...
That was the object of the story...duh....the guy was a city guy and was
basing his whole theory that they were bulls on the fact that they had a
sheath....he didn't even bother to confirm that the rest of the parts were
there....and you're telling someone who stood a stallion for years about
cattle breeding???? What a laugh...

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...


"katysails" wrote in message
...
We've got roosters crowing here...when you've been around them a
longtime, you don't even notice them anymore...now when the donkey
lived
next door, that was a different story...he would stand out in the
pasture
bawling and braying as soon as the sun came up until the sun went
down....the ponies in with him hated him and wouldn't let him
socialize....they finally put a goat in with him and they liked each
other
(I figured the way they both smelled that they canceled each other
out...). Our southern property line is actually a private drive with
several houses on the other side....an "artist" rented the place all
the
way back a few winters ago. One day the steers from next door got
loose
and I went out to round them up and get them back where they were
supposed
to be. I picked up a stick from under the mulberry tree and went out
armed to do some serious butt whacking. This "artist" comes running
down
the drive waving a shotgun and shouting about the dangerous bulls loose
on
the road and told me to get back or I'd be killed. He actually had his
gun leveled at the first steer. I got in front of the cow and told the
guy to go home before he ended up shooting off his own foot or
something
and that if Lester, the neighbor was home and saw him waving a gun at
his
next year's dinner, he'd be wearing that gun around his neck. I then
proceeded to start smacking cow butt until they went back through the
hole
they'd made in the fence. The guy came up to me and said how brave I
was
to be able to handle bulls like that. I looked at him and said
"They're
not bulls". He insisted I was wrong. I finally had to get in the pen
and
life a tail to show him what wasn't there. He blushed a very nice
shade
of red and went back to his house...didn't see him the rest of that
winter.




Err, Katy, my dear. It might be that a little tale of fantasy was
penned above.

I'm a farm boy and I've milked cows, fed and cleaned up after
steers and handled bulls in the breeding pens. A mature breeder
bull's testicles are huge and hang almost down to the ground.
One would not have to raise a tail to show what was missing.

For a dog maybe, but for a bull? Well, let me say you're full
of bull. He he!

CN





Jonathan Ganz December 4th 04 11:41 PM

Neal has a lot of experience with looking for scrotum.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...

But, he could have seen the lack of a scrotum without
you having to raise up the tail. C'mon, admit it. I caught
you telling a whopper. I'm not criticizing, however as
all good sailors tell a whopper once in a while.

That you did just makes you one of the boys.

CN

PS Bulls will mount and poke a burlap sack full of
straw on a sawhorse. A stallion has a lot less lust
and a lot more sense. It's got to have the real thing
and the real thing must be in estrus.

"katysails" wrote in message
...
That was the object of the story...duh....the guy was a city guy and was
basing his whole theory that they were bulls on the fact that they had a
sheath....he didn't even bother to confirm that the rest of the parts
were
there....and you're telling someone who stood a stallion for years about
cattle breeding???? What a laugh...

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...


"katysails" wrote in message
...
We've got roosters crowing here...when you've been around them a
longtime, you don't even notice them anymore...now when the donkey
lived
next door, that was a different story...he would stand out in the
pasture
bawling and braying as soon as the sun came up until the sun went
down....the ponies in with him hated him and wouldn't let him
socialize....they finally put a goat in with him and they liked each
other
(I figured the way they both smelled that they canceled each other
out...). Our southern property line is actually a private drive
with
several houses on the other side....an "artist" rented the place all
the
way back a few winters ago. One day the steers from next door got
loose
and I went out to round them up and get them back where they were
supposed
to be. I picked up a stick from under the mulberry tree and went
out
armed to do some serious butt whacking. This "artist" comes running
down
the drive waving a shotgun and shouting about the dangerous bulls
loose
on
the road and told me to get back or I'd be killed. He actually had
his
gun leveled at the first steer. I got in front of the cow and told
the
guy to go home before he ended up shooting off his own foot or
something
and that if Lester, the neighbor was home and saw him waving a gun
at
his
next year's dinner, he'd be wearing that gun around his neck. I
then
proceeded to start smacking cow butt until they went back through
the
hole
they'd made in the fence. The guy came up to me and said how brave
I
was
to be able to handle bulls like that. I looked at him and said
"They're
not bulls". He insisted I was wrong. I finally had to get in the
pen
and
life a tail to show him what wasn't there. He blushed a very nice
shade
of red and went back to his house...didn't see him the rest of that
winter.



Err, Katy, my dear. It might be that a little tale of fantasy was
penned above.

I'm a farm boy and I've milked cows, fed and cleaned up after
steers and handled bulls in the breeding pens. A mature breeder
bull's testicles are huge and hang almost down to the ground.
One would not have to raise a tail to show what was missing.

For a dog maybe, but for a bull? Well, let me say you're full
of bull. He he!

CN







katysails December 5th 04 01:55 PM

Neal, that's the point...the guy didn't know enough to look for a
scrotum...and I don't tell whoppers....I suppose I could go drag kelly next
door over here to verify the story (she'd think you were nuts...) since the
cows belonged to her grandfather and she witnessed most of it....You're just
going to have to take it on faith that it's a true story, because it is.
Or, if you need verification, you could always ask Maxprop about whether the
situation is in character for me or not...he'll tell you that I get myself
into those kinds of situations all the time...

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...

But, he could have seen the lack of a scrotum without
you having to raise up the tail. C'mon, admit it. I caught
you telling a whopper. I'm not criticizing, however as
all good sailors tell a whopper once in a while.

That you did just makes you one of the boys.

CN

PS Bulls will mount and poke a burlap sack full of
straw on a sawhorse. A stallion has a lot less lust
and a lot more sense. It's got to have the real thing
and the real thing must be in estrus.

"katysails" wrote in message
...
That was the object of the story...duh....the guy was a city guy and was
basing his whole theory that they were bulls on the fact that they had a
sheath....he didn't even bother to confirm that the rest of the parts
were
there....and you're telling someone who stood a stallion for years about
cattle breeding???? What a laugh...

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...


"katysails" wrote in message
...
We've got roosters crowing here...when you've been around them a
longtime, you don't even notice them anymore...now when the donkey
lived
next door, that was a different story...he would stand out in the
pasture
bawling and braying as soon as the sun came up until the sun went
down....the ponies in with him hated him and wouldn't let him
socialize....they finally put a goat in with him and they liked each
other
(I figured the way they both smelled that they canceled each other
out...). Our southern property line is actually a private drive
with
several houses on the other side....an "artist" rented the place all
the
way back a few winters ago. One day the steers from next door got
loose
and I went out to round them up and get them back where they were
supposed
to be. I picked up a stick from under the mulberry tree and went
out
armed to do some serious butt whacking. This "artist" comes running
down
the drive waving a shotgun and shouting about the dangerous bulls
loose
on
the road and told me to get back or I'd be killed. He actually had
his
gun leveled at the first steer. I got in front of the cow and told
the
guy to go home before he ended up shooting off his own foot or
something
and that if Lester, the neighbor was home and saw him waving a gun
at
his
next year's dinner, he'd be wearing that gun around his neck. I
then
proceeded to start smacking cow butt until they went back through
the
hole
they'd made in the fence. The guy came up to me and said how brave
I
was
to be able to handle bulls like that. I looked at him and said
"They're
not bulls". He insisted I was wrong. I finally had to get in the
pen
and
life a tail to show him what wasn't there. He blushed a very nice
shade
of red and went back to his house...didn't see him the rest of that
winter.



Err, Katy, my dear. It might be that a little tale of fantasy was
penned above.

I'm a farm boy and I've milked cows, fed and cleaned up after
steers and handled bulls in the breeding pens. A mature breeder
bull's testicles are huge and hang almost down to the ground.
One would not have to raise a tail to show what was missing.

For a dog maybe, but for a bull? Well, let me say you're full
of bull. He he!

CN







Capt. Neal® December 5th 04 03:31 PM


The lesson here is never argue with a woman.

You can't win no matter what and they always
get the last word no matter what.

CN

"katysails" wrote in message ...
Neal, that's the point...the guy didn't know enough to look for a
scrotum...and I don't tell whoppers....I suppose I could go drag kelly next
door over here to verify the story (she'd think you were nuts...) since the
cows belonged to her grandfather and she witnessed most of it....You're just
going to have to take it on faith that it's a true story, because it is.
Or, if you need verification, you could always ask Maxprop about whether the
situation is in character for me or not...he'll tell you that I get myself
into those kinds of situations all the time...

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...

But, he could have seen the lack of a scrotum without
you having to raise up the tail. C'mon, admit it. I caught
you telling a whopper. I'm not criticizing, however as
all good sailors tell a whopper once in a while.

That you did just makes you one of the boys.

CN

PS Bulls will mount and poke a burlap sack full of
straw on a sawhorse. A stallion has a lot less lust
and a lot more sense. It's got to have the real thing
and the real thing must be in estrus.

"katysails" wrote in message
...
That was the object of the story...duh....the guy was a city guy and was
basing his whole theory that they were bulls on the fact that they had a
sheath....he didn't even bother to confirm that the rest of the parts
were
there....and you're telling someone who stood a stallion for years about
cattle breeding???? What a laugh...

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...


"katysails" wrote in message
...
We've got roosters crowing here...when you've been around them a
longtime, you don't even notice them anymore...now when the donkey
lived
next door, that was a different story...he would stand out in the
pasture
bawling and braying as soon as the sun came up until the sun went
down....the ponies in with him hated him and wouldn't let him
socialize....they finally put a goat in with him and they liked each
other
(I figured the way they both smelled that they canceled each other
out...). Our southern property line is actually a private drive
with
several houses on the other side....an "artist" rented the place all
the
way back a few winters ago. One day the steers from next door got
loose
and I went out to round them up and get them back where they were
supposed
to be. I picked up a stick from under the mulberry tree and went
out
armed to do some serious butt whacking. This "artist" comes running
down
the drive waving a shotgun and shouting about the dangerous bulls
loose
on
the road and told me to get back or I'd be killed. He actually had
his
gun leveled at the first steer. I got in front of the cow and told
the
guy to go home before he ended up shooting off his own foot or
something
and that if Lester, the neighbor was home and saw him waving a gun
at
his
next year's dinner, he'd be wearing that gun around his neck. I
then
proceeded to start smacking cow butt until they went back through
the
hole
they'd made in the fence. The guy came up to me and said how brave
I
was
to be able to handle bulls like that. I looked at him and said
"They're
not bulls". He insisted I was wrong. I finally had to get in the
pen
and
life a tail to show him what wasn't there. He blushed a very nice
shade
of red and went back to his house...didn't see him the rest of that
winter.



Err, Katy, my dear. It might be that a little tale of fantasy was
penned above.

I'm a farm boy and I've milked cows, fed and cleaned up after
steers and handled bulls in the breeding pens. A mature breeder
bull's testicles are huge and hang almost down to the ground.
One would not have to raise a tail to show what was missing.

For a dog maybe, but for a bull? Well, let me say you're full
of bull. He he!

CN







Scott Vernon December 5th 04 03:41 PM

Note to self; NEVER , never, ever wear a kilt around Katysails.

Scotty

"katysails" wrote in message
...
Neal, that's the point...the guy didn't know enough to look for a
scrotum...and I don't tell whoppers....I suppose I could go drag

kelly next
door over here to verify the story (she'd think you were nuts...)

since the
cows belonged to her grandfather and she witnessed most of

it....You're just
going to have to take it on faith that it's a true story, because it

is.
Or, if you need verification, you could always ask Maxprop about

whether the
situation is in character for me or not...he'll tell you that I get

myself
into those kinds of situations all the time...

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...

But, he could have seen the lack of a scrotum without
you having to raise up the tail. C'mon, admit it. I caught
you telling a whopper. I'm not criticizing, however as
all good sailors tell a whopper once in a while.

That you did just makes you one of the boys.

CN

PS Bulls will mount and poke a burlap sack full of
straw on a sawhorse. A stallion has a lot less lust
and a lot more sense. It's got to have the real thing
and the real thing must be in estrus.

"katysails" wrote in message
...
That was the object of the story...duh....the guy was a city guy

and was
basing his whole theory that they were bulls on the fact that

they had a
sheath....he didn't even bother to confirm that the rest of the

parts
were
there....and you're telling someone who stood a stallion for

years about
cattle breeding???? What a laugh...

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...


"katysails" wrote in message

...
We've got roosters crowing here...when you've been around

them a
longtime, you don't even notice them anymore...now when the

donkey
lived
next door, that was a different story...he would stand out

in the
pasture
bawling and braying as soon as the sun came up until the sun

went
down....the ponies in with him hated him and wouldn't let

him
socialize....they finally put a goat in with him and they

liked each
other
(I figured the way they both smelled that they canceled each

other
out...). Our southern property line is actually a private

drive
with
several houses on the other side....an "artist" rented the

place all
the
way back a few winters ago. One day the steers from next

door got
loose
and I went out to round them up and get them back where they

were
supposed
to be. I picked up a stick from under the mulberry tree and

went
out
armed to do some serious butt whacking. This "artist" comes

running
down
the drive waving a shotgun and shouting about the dangerous

bulls
loose
on
the road and told me to get back or I'd be killed. He

actually had
his
gun leveled at the first steer. I got in front of the cow

and told
the
guy to go home before he ended up shooting off his own foot

or
something
and that if Lester, the neighbor was home and saw him waving

a gun
at
his
next year's dinner, he'd be wearing that gun around his

neck. I
then
proceeded to start smacking cow butt until they went back

through
the
hole
they'd made in the fence. The guy came up to me and said

how brave
I
was
to be able to handle bulls like that. I looked at him and

said
"They're
not bulls". He insisted I was wrong. I finally had to get

in the
pen
and
life a tail to show him what wasn't there. He blushed a

very nice
shade
of red and went back to his house...didn't see him the rest

of that
winter.



Err, Katy, my dear. It might be that a little tale of fantasy

was
penned above.

I'm a farm boy and I've milked cows, fed and cleaned up after
steers and handled bulls in the breeding pens. A mature breeder
bull's testicles are huge and hang almost down to the ground.
One would not have to raise a tail to show what was missing.

For a dog maybe, but for a bull? Well, let me say you're full
of bull. He he!

CN








Overproof December 5th 04 03:46 PM

Why?.... does Kitty play the Bagpipes?

CM

"Scott Vernon" wrote in message

Note to self; NEVER , never, ever wear a kilt around Katysails.






katysails December 5th 04 09:17 PM

I like men in kilts...it'sy masculine....
"Scott Vernon" wrote in message
...
Note to self; NEVER , never, ever wear a kilt around Katysails.

Scotty

"katysails" wrote in message
...
Neal, that's the point...the guy didn't know enough to look for a
scrotum...and I don't tell whoppers....I suppose I could go drag

kelly next
door over here to verify the story (she'd think you were nuts...)

since the
cows belonged to her grandfather and she witnessed most of

it....You're just
going to have to take it on faith that it's a true story, because it

is.
Or, if you need verification, you could always ask Maxprop about

whether the
situation is in character for me or not...he'll tell you that I get

myself
into those kinds of situations all the time...

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...

But, he could have seen the lack of a scrotum without
you having to raise up the tail. C'mon, admit it. I caught
you telling a whopper. I'm not criticizing, however as
all good sailors tell a whopper once in a while.

That you did just makes you one of the boys.

CN

PS Bulls will mount and poke a burlap sack full of
straw on a sawhorse. A stallion has a lot less lust
and a lot more sense. It's got to have the real thing
and the real thing must be in estrus.

"katysails" wrote in message
...
That was the object of the story...duh....the guy was a city guy

and was
basing his whole theory that they were bulls on the fact that

they had a
sheath....he didn't even bother to confirm that the rest of the

parts
were
there....and you're telling someone who stood a stallion for

years about
cattle breeding???? What a laugh...

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...


"katysails" wrote in message

...
We've got roosters crowing here...when you've been around

them a
longtime, you don't even notice them anymore...now when the

donkey
lived
next door, that was a different story...he would stand out

in the
pasture
bawling and braying as soon as the sun came up until the sun

went
down....the ponies in with him hated him and wouldn't let

him
socialize....they finally put a goat in with him and they

liked each
other
(I figured the way they both smelled that they canceled each

other
out...). Our southern property line is actually a private

drive
with
several houses on the other side....an "artist" rented the

place all
the
way back a few winters ago. One day the steers from next

door got
loose
and I went out to round them up and get them back where they

were
supposed
to be. I picked up a stick from under the mulberry tree and

went
out
armed to do some serious butt whacking. This "artist" comes

running
down
the drive waving a shotgun and shouting about the dangerous

bulls
loose
on
the road and told me to get back or I'd be killed. He

actually had
his
gun leveled at the first steer. I got in front of the cow

and told
the
guy to go home before he ended up shooting off his own foot

or
something
and that if Lester, the neighbor was home and saw him waving

a gun
at
his
next year's dinner, he'd be wearing that gun around his

neck. I
then
proceeded to start smacking cow butt until they went back

through
the
hole
they'd made in the fence. The guy came up to me and said

how brave
I
was
to be able to handle bulls like that. I looked at him and

said
"They're
not bulls". He insisted I was wrong. I finally had to get

in the
pen
and
life a tail to show him what wasn't there. He blushed a

very nice
shade
of red and went back to his house...didn't see him the rest

of that
winter.



Err, Katy, my dear. It might be that a little tale of fantasy

was
penned above.

I'm a farm boy and I've milked cows, fed and cleaned up after
steers and handled bulls in the breeding pens. A mature breeder
bull's testicles are huge and hang almost down to the ground.
One would not have to raise a tail to show what was missing.

For a dog maybe, but for a bull? Well, let me say you're full
of bull. He he!

CN










Scout December 5th 04 09:58 PM

"katysails" wrote
I like men in kilts...it's convenient....




katysails December 6th 04 04:11 AM

That, too...

"Scout" wrote in message
...
"katysails" wrote
I like men in kilts...it's convenient....






Martin Baxter December 6th 04 05:16 PM

Capt. Neal® wrote:
A mature breeder
bull's testicles are huge and hang almost down to the ground.
One would not have to raise a tail to show what was missing.



I must concur Cappy, no way could you miss a bulls gonads, unless maybe it was one of
those australian marsupial bulls with big wide flat tails much like a beaver!

Cheers
Marty



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 07:32 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004 - 2014 BoatBanter.com