From rec.humor.funny

WASHINGTON - Al-Qaida may attempt to launch attacks in U.S. cities
using Democratic Party campaign trains, airplanes, or buses packed
with explosives as weapons, the FBI said in a new nationwide bulletin.

Terror operatives could attempt to hijack Democratic party campaign
vehicles and use them in suicide attacks against buildings, parades,
sporting events, or political rallies, said the intelligence bulletin.

The Democratic banners could both help terrorists get closer to
targeted buildings, the FBI warning said. The warning was sent
Monday night by the FBI and the Homeland Security Department to 18,000
state and local law enforcement agencies, other government officials
and private groups.

"Democratic Party activities are excellent cover for people with
colored skin or heads covered in rags," the FBI bulletin said. "Those
sorts of people would obviously stick out driving a Republican Party
vehicle. We realize the Democratic Party is legal and allowed to use
vehicles, but we want people to be cautions around them. Billboards
with Democratic Party political ads could also be used by terrorists
as shields to hide behind."

A Democratic Party spokesperson responded to the warning, saying
"Someone carrying a gun would be out of place next to a Democratic
Party vehicle, but a person with an assault rifle would seem natural
next to a Republican Party banner. The Democratic Party does,
however, support the hard-working FBI agents in the fight against
global terror."

In response to questions on whether the FBI announcement was political
White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan denied any political
motive.

"There is nothing political in this announcement. This is also not a
personal attack on waffle-man and his best boy -- this announcement
applies equally to all local, state, and national Democratic
candidates."


--
Jonathan Ganz (j gan z @ $ail no w.c=o=m)
http://www.sailnow.com
"If there's no wind, row."