Home |
Search |
Today's Posts |
|
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Proposition: The Fool's Act
The boats on autohelm... I don't think it would work even if you could
reach it. -- "j" ganz @@ www.sailnow.com "Joe" wrote in message om... Flying Tadpole wrote in message ... Bobsprit wrote: The Boat: Cape Dory 36 Conditions: Fair, boat speed 4.5 knots on a reach What a disaster! You were sailing alone, 400 miles offshore. No land or vessels in sight. Your Autohelm 4000 autopilot engaged you sat down for a meal when you heard a strange noise. Back on deck you see that part of the backstay adjuster is coming loose. You get to work and place your foot on the aft railing. The boat lurches from a gust and wave. It's a one in a million shot, but it's happened. You've fallen off the boat!!!! You spin fast in the water and grab the 15 foot long line you were trailing. Slowly, chocking on water rushing over you, you manage to pull your self to the stern. It's exhausting, but you make it to the stern. Only you can't pull the ladder down!!! You can't get aboard. The rush of cold water is wearing you down fast. What can you do???? Turn the rudder with your feet to head upwind and stop the boat. Joe Stick your face underwater and take a REALLY deep breath, thus ridding the gene pool of an idiot who not only was singlehanding 400mi offshore without any sort of tether/lifeline, but was actually stupid enough to go working in an exposed position without taking additional precautions. I propose that there be a Fool's Act put up, or perhaps an international treaty (Foolish Activities Rescue Refusal Treaty), where anyone in their majority, regardless of their soundness of mind or not, be permitted to indulge in whatever stupidity they wish to, provided it neither physically damages another person, and provided that they waive all rights to rescue. That way, those who want to cross the SImpson Desert without water in the height of summer are free to, those who wish to suicide offshore may do so, and no-one (who doesn't actually desire to) need put themselves at risk to retrieve the fools. |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
Proposition: The Fool's Act
I have to concur with that Tadpole..... plus any fool out that far and
using an Autohelm 4000 instead of a wind vane never mind no jack lines, no harness.... I loved that little bit about a 15 ft line towed behind.... which would be well past you before you surfaced from any fall..... combined with the fact you can't pull yourself up a towed line at 4.5 knots. It's a Bob dream play... could never be duplicated in real life but Bob can't understand that reality since he has no experience. My answer to Bob's scenario would be to activate my remote Transporter Beacon and rematerialize aboard in a set of dry clothes prior to taking the Warp Engines offline. ;-) CM "Flying Tadpole" wrote in message ... | | | Bobsprit wrote: | | The Boat: Cape Dory 36 | Conditions: Fair, boat speed 4.5 knots on a reach | | What a disaster! You were sailing alone, 400 miles offshore. No land or vessels | in sight. Your Autohelm 4000 autopilot engaged you sat down for a meal when you | heard a strange noise. Back on deck you see that part of the backstay adjuster | is coming loose. You get to work and place your foot on the aft railing. The | boat lurches from a gust and wave. It's a one in a million shot, but it's | happened. You've fallen off the boat!!!! | You spin fast in the water and grab the 15 foot long line you were trailing. | Slowly, chocking on water rushing over you, you manage to pull your self to the | stern. It's exhausting, but you make it to the stern. Only you can't pull the | ladder down!!! You can't get aboard. The rush of cold water is wearing you down | fast. | | What can you do???? | | | Stick your face underwater and take a REALLY deep breath, thus | ridding the gene pool of an idiot who not only was singlehanding | 400mi offshore without any sort of tether/lifeline, but was | actually stupid enough to go working in an exposed position | without taking additional precautions. | | I propose that there be a Fool's Act put up, or perhaps an | international treaty (Foolish Activities Rescue Refusal Treaty), | where anyone in their majority, regardless of their soundness of | mind or not, be permitted to indulge in whatever stupidity they | wish to, provided it neither physically damages another person, | and provided that they waive all rights to rescue. That way, | those who want to cross the SImpson Desert without water in the | height of summer are free to, those who wish to suicide offshore | may do so, and no-one (who doesn't actually desire to) need put | themselves at risk to retrieve the fools. | | -- | Flying Tadpole | | ------------------------- | Break Away, Sail Away and putz away | now at http://music.download.com/internetopera |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
Proposition: The Fool's Act
"Capt. Mooron" wrote: My answer to Bob's scenario would be to activate my remote Transporter Beacon and rematerialize aboard in a set of dry clothes prior to taking the Warp Engines offline. ;-) That would worke for one such as you, frequently spaced out... -- Flying Tadpole ------------------------- Break Away, Sail Away and putz away now at http://music.download.com/internetopera |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
Proposition: The Fool's Act
"Flying Tadpole" wrote in message ... | | | "Capt. Mooron" wrote: | | | | My answer to Bob's scenario would be to activate my remote Transporter | Beacon and rematerialize aboard in a set of dry clothes prior to taking the | Warp Engines offline. ;-) | | | That would worke for one such as you, frequently spaced out... May the Farce Be With You Tadpole Pond Skimmer! Has anyone mentioned the similarity in design between a Bolger Box and a Borg Cube? ;-P Resistance is Futile.... You will be Assimilated! CM |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
Proposition: The Fool's Act
"Capt. Mooron" wrote: "Flying Tadpole" wrote in message ... | | | "Capt. Mooron" wrote: | | | | My answer to Bob's scenario would be to activate my remote Transporter | Beacon and rematerialize aboard in a set of dry clothes prior to taking the | Warp Engines offline. ;-) | | | That would worke for one such as you, frequently spaced out... May the Farce Be With You Tadpole Pond Skimmer! Has anyone mentioned the similarity in design between a Bolger Box and a Borg Cube? ;-P Resistance is Futile.... You will be Assimilated! 1. The Farce is what I'm working on. 2. If you've contracted MCs paranoia, you might find it helps to think of the boat as a Cubie Doll. 3. Who's ass is being immolated?? Does the SPCA/RSPCA know? (see, we keep our "G" classification!) -- Flying Tadpole ------------------------- Break Away, Sail Away and putz away now at http://music.download.com/internetopera |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
Proposition: The Fool's Act
Has anyone mentioned the similarity in design between a Bolger Box and a
Borg Cube? ;-P I KNEW it! And I saw the need for assimilation just last week! -- katysails s/v Chanteuse Kirie Elite 32 http://katysails.tripod.com "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.712 / Virus Database: 468 - Release Date: 6/27/2004 |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
What if #7
Bobsprit wrote: The Boat: Cape Dory 36 Conditions: Fair, boat speed 4.5 knots on a reach What a disaster! You were sailing alone, 400 miles offshore. No land or vessels in sight. Your Autohelm 4000 autopilot engaged you sat down for a meal when you heard a strange noise. Back on deck you see that part of the backstay adjuster is coming loose. You get to work and place your foot on the aft railing. The boat lurches from a gust and wave. It's a one in a million shot, but it's happened. You've fallen off the boat!!!! You spin fast in the water and grab the 15 foot long line you were trailing. Slowly, chocking on water rushing over you, you manage to pull your self to the stern. It's exhausting, but you make it to the stern. Only you can't pull the ladder down!!! You can't get aboard. The rush of cold water is wearing you down fast. What can you do???? Save yourself using your BRAIN. Cheers |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
What if #7
I didn't realize that faggots can walk on water too.
-- "j" ganz @@ www.sailnow.com "Horvath" wrote in message ... On 30 Jun 2004 02:09:42 GMT, (Bobsprit) wrote this crap: The Boat: Cape Dory 36 Conditions: Fair, boat speed 4.5 knots on a reach What a disaster! You were sailing alone, 400 miles offshore. No land or vessels in sight. Your Autohelm 4000 autopilot engaged you sat down for a meal when you heard a strange noise. Back on deck you see that part of the backstay adjuster is coming loose. You get to work and place your foot on the aft railing. The boat lurches from a gust and wave. It's a one in a million shot, but it's happened. You've fallen off the boat!!!! You spin fast in the water and grab the 15 foot long line you were trailing. Slowly, chocking on water rushing over you, you manage to pull your self to the stern. It's exhausting, but you make it to the stern. Only you can't pull the ladder down!!! You can't get aboard. The rush of cold water is wearing you down fast. What can you do???? That actually happened to me on a C&C 40. Fortunately, I can walk on water. Pathetic Earthlings! No one can save you now! |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
What if #7
I'd tie a rolling hitch with the line to itself and
inch my back on board, or toss the end of the line over a lifeline and use that as a 2:1 purchase. I wouldn't let anything stand between me and that sandwich! Bobsprit wrote The Boat: Cape Dory 36 Conditions: Fair, boat speed 4.5 knots on a reach What a disaster! You were sailing alone, 400 miles offshore. No land or vessels in sight. Your Autohelm 4000 autopilot engaged you sat down for a meal when you heard a strange noise. Back on deck you see that part of the backstay adjuster is coming loose. You get to work and place your foot on the aft railing. The boat lurches from a gust and wave. It's a one in a million shot, but it's happened. You've fallen off the boat!!!! You spin fast in the water and grab the 15 foot long line you were trailing. Slowly, chocking on water rushing over you, you manage to pull your self to the stern. It's exhausting, but you make it to the stern. Only you can't pull the ladder down!!! You can't get aboard. The rush of cold water is wearing you down fast. What can you do???? |