QUESTION: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W.
BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
mission
in Iraq is complete.


This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is
now
to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
worlds nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
distributing
copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the
face
of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France,
or
maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace
deal
now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
tables,
too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations
with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We
are
retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped,
shredded
and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned
over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
try not xxxxxxx us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2.
President
Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude
adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions
sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border
security.
So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ---
starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn
tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on
the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup
Soccer from America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and
we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America.
Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in
English, thank a soldier.

as a SNL skit?


"Bart Senior" wrote in message
...
QUESTION: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W.
BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
mission
in Iraq is complete.


This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is
now
to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
worlds nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
distributing
copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the
face
of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France,
or
maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace
deal
now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
tables,
too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations
with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We
are
retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped,
shredded
and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned
over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
try not xxxxxxx us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2.
President
Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude
adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions
sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border
security.
So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ---
starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn
tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on
the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup
Soccer from America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and
we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America.
Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in
English, thank a soldier.

It would be proof that he's an idiot, which he isn't.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"Bart Senior" wrote in message
...
QUESTION: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W.
BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our
mission
in Iraq is complete.


This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is
now
to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
worlds nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
distributing
copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the
face
of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France,
or
maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace
deal
now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
tables,
too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations
with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We
are
retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped,
shredded
and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned
over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
try not xxxxxxx us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2.
President
Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude
adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions
sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border
security.
So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ---
starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn
tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on
the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup
Soccer from America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and
we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America.
Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in
English, thank a soldier.

That's a pretty strong hallucinogenic you're taking there, Bart....

--
katysails
s/v Chanteuse
Kirie Elite 32
http://katysails.tripod.com

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein

Bart Senior wrote:
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi war.

???

Shutting off all foreign aid to everybody for five years won't pay for
the Iraq war *so far*.


The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Agreed.

Problem... "growing fat on corruption" means that they are buying goods
(most likely weapons) from American companies... companies that make
campaign contributions...



Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

That would be very conservative, wouldn't it?
Anyway I'd rather see them spend the money on the space program.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the
face
of the earth.

You mean like Bush did with Osama Bin Laden?


.. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations
with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We
are
retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

Bush speaks Spanish, not French.

Anyway, think seriously about what the break up of NATO would mean.
Actually, NATO would not break up, it would just become a new alliance
against us.


I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped,
shredded
and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned
over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

That part is funny, but the same holds true of the U.S. Congress &
Senate. And as a foreign & economic policy, isolationism makes less
sense now than it did in 1938. The rhetoric about "not appeasing hostile
foreign leaders" is the corollary.

Bush has less chance of making this speech than he does of getting
invited to a sledding party by Chavez.

DSK

This is also true.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"DSK" wrote in message
...
Bart Senior wrote:
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi war.

???

Shutting off all foreign aid to everybody for five years won't pay for
the Iraq war *so far*.


The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Agreed.

Problem... "growing fat on corruption" means that they are buying goods
(most likely weapons) from American companies... companies that make
campaign contributions...



Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

That would be very conservative, wouldn't it?
Anyway I'd rather see them spend the money on the space program.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the
face
of the earth.

You mean like Bush did with Osama Bin Laden?


.. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations
with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We
are
retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

Bush speaks Spanish, not French.

Anyway, think seriously about what the break up of NATO would mean.
Actually, NATO would not break up, it would just become a new alliance
against us.


I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped,
shredded
and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned
over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

That part is funny, but the same holds true of the U.S. Congress &
Senate. And as a foreign & economic policy, isolationism makes less
sense now than it did in 1938. The rhetoric about "not appeasing hostile
foreign leaders" is the corollary.

Bush has less chance of making this speech than he does of getting
invited to a sledding party by Chavez.

DSK

"Bart Senior" wrote in message t...
QUESTION: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W.
BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


Id Love to hear it!

Did you see the president having to sit with the French prick this
morning?
You could tell Bush despised the *******, was going to shake his hand
but pulled it back before he got a greasy palm.

joe

Yeh, I agree.. especially since Bush had previously told him to drop dead.
Now he has to go crawling back.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"Joe" wrote in message
om...
"Bart Senior" wrote in message
t...
QUESTION: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W.
BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


Id Love to hear it!

Did you see the president having to sit with the French prick this
morning?
You could tell Bush despised the *******, was going to shake his hand
but pulled it back before he got a greasy palm.

joe

"Jonathan Ganz" wrote in message ...
Yeh, I agree.. especially since Bush had previously told him to drop dead.
Now he has to go crawling back.


crawling back my ass, it was just a photo opp for clowns like you.

That dirty stinking frenchman, thanking the USA for saving France on
D-Day yet cowers and sucks of to the likes of Saddam. What a worthless
usless *******.

Joe



--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"Joe" wrote in message
om...
"Bart Senior" wrote in message
t...
QUESTION: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W.
BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


Id Love to hear it!

Did you see the president having to sit with the French prick this
morning?
You could tell Bush despised the *******, was going to shake his hand
but pulled it back before he got a greasy palm.

joe

On Thu, 10 Jun 2004 23:07:19 -0700, "Jonathan Ganz"
wrote this crap:

Yeh, I agree.. especially since Bush had previously told him to drop dead.
Now he has to go crawling back.


That's nonsense. President George W. Bush will never crawl to the
frogs.

Just cuz you gay guys like the French so much, doesn't mean the rest
of us do.





Pathetic Earthlings! No one can save you now!