Children are Finding Nemo Instead of Finding Jesus, and the Homos at Disney
are to Blame!
Movie Review

Christian pastors here at Landover Baptist thought their tireless efforts to
warn Americans about the carefully disguised homosexual agenda targeting
toddlers through Disney cartoons was working. They thought that since
President George W. Bush, a devout Christian who attends a Bible church
regularly and believes in the same three-headed God (Father, Son, and flying
side-kick, The Holy Ghost) took office, that Americans were finally waking
up. Our pastors took for granted that Americans understood that Jesus is not
above sending little children straight to Hell for watching cartoons. It
wasn't until Pastor Deacon Fred heard that millions of American children
were being lured like zombies in a trance to see the new Disney film,
Finding Nemo, that he decided to speak out against it.

"Walt Disney would be spinning in his grave if he knew his animation studios
were full of giggling homosexuals, doodling and talking about silly colors
and little fishies for their latest film," said Pastor Deacon Fred last
Sunday. "But as we all know, Walt Disney never made it to Heaven. Although
he hated Jews almost as much as the Apostle Paul did, he never took the time
to accept Jesus Christ as his personal savior. So Mr. Disney is burning in
Hell right now and God melted his eyes right out of his head. The poor
fellow can't even see that his wholesome empire of family entertainment is
overrun by prancing homos, skipping through its echoey corridors like
clomping herds of wild ponies."

"Some folks don't think they need Pastors like myself to tell them what to
think, but apparently they do, otherwise, they wouldn't be letting their
children keep seeing these disgusting Disney cartoons," continued Pastor.
"Just in case you ain't a Christian person, and can't see that Satan and the
damn liberals and homos are behind just about everything that is wrong with
this country, let me clue you in. The movie, Finding Nemo incorporates an
exaggerated use of unnecessarily bright colors, and hues (especially pink
and yellow). As True ChristiansT, we know that these colors are like a trail
of poop leading right up to the rabbit hole of homosexuality. Do they take
us for fools? I've been to the fishing hole before, my friends - and I've
never had a tug on my line from any orange or yellow striped demon possessed
looking fish. Everyone knows that fish are green! Every time I see a
commercial for this movie, it makes me want to scream and smack my giggling
little grandson in the head! And it wouldn't be my fault if I did smack him!
It's them damned homos who forced me to do it! Praise the sweet name of
Jesus!"

"Since I don't have to lift up a sewer lid, to know it stinks down there - I
also don't have to see movies to know that they are about. Aside from the
homosexual cartoonist's calling card of high budget glitz and glamour that
accompanies each new Disney/Pixar release, there is a more sinister agenda
at work here. This film is about a young fish boy from a single family fish
home. He rightly runs away after finding out his daddy fish is a flopping
homosexual. His daddy fish wants him to come back home and live with his
boyfriend! If that isn't enough to make you throw up, there's more. This
homo-fish intends to marry outside of his own fish race by taking up
residence with a male blow fish. So what we have is two things going on. The
writers of the film want children who view it to accept homosexuality as
normal, and also to turn a blind eye to mixed marriages - or God forbid,
marriage between the species, which is bestiality, or in this case
aquaticality. Friends, the homos are getting our kids so confused and mixed
up by this nonsense, that if you aren't shocked, I question your salvation!
You mark my words, before you know it, your own son will be dying his hair
orange and having sex with a dolphin - and you will be forced by law to
accept their relationship as normal. I can't even continue with this,
because frankly it makes me physically ill to even think about it."

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"You mark my words. Before you know it, your own son will be dying his
hair orange and having sex with a dolphin - and you will be forced by law to
accept their relationship as normal."
- Pastor Deacon Fred




After speaking, Pastor Deacon Fred pulled out an aquarium full of fish from
behind his pulpit and overturned it onto the table of Holy Sacrament. "This
is what I think of Finding Nemo!" he bellowed. "Damned homosexual fishes!"
The congregation stood up and cheered as ladies from the choir came down to
stomp their heels into the dozens of fish flopping around on the floor. One
child was punished for trying to save a fish by throwing it into the
baptismal pool. Church members with active aquariums voluntarily drained
them as soon as they got home. Pastor Deacon Fred is asking all Baptist
ministers to warn their parishioners about the new Disney film, Finding
Nemo - and also to overturn aquariums in public as a sign of protest.