A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been
tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, one proton,
2 electrons and 1 anti-electron giving it an atomic mass of 313. These 313
particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by
vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons and is known to
radiate numerous quarks as well as neutrinos. Governmentium is inert in its
natural state unless the taxpaying proton is dislodged from the nucleus, in
which case there is a violent chain reaction whereby it attacks the protons
of all other elements within the proximity of 1 light year.

However in its natural state, it can be detected easily as it impedes every
reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium
causes any chemical reaction to take over 10 to the 23rd times longer to
complete then it would normally take.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of infinity; it does not normally
decay, but instead undergoes a transmutation every 2-4 years, which is
called an elect-decay acceleration in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places and also dislodge some of the
neutrons, and occasionally the proton and electrons.

If the proton or one of the electrons is dislodged in this process,
Governmentium can reach critical mass and begin the radiate a tremendous
number of alpha, beta and gamma particles. In this state one milligram of
Governmentium is capable of annialiting a mass about the size of the moon.

Even in its natural state, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over
time, since each transmutation will cause some morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed in a complete vacuum
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".


The only substance that Governmentium dissolves in is "Goldwater".

Anyone notice the raging forest fires went around the Reagan Library. Reagan
took a bullet and joked about it. Bush chokes on a pretzel and collapses.

This is old as the hills and is still just as stupid.

"JaxAshby" wrote in message
ink.net...
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been
tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, one
proton,
2 electrons and 1 anti-electron giving it an atomic mass of 313. These 313
particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded
by
vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons and is known to
radiate numerous quarks as well as neutrinos. Governmentium is inert in
its
natural state unless the taxpaying proton is dislodged from the nucleus,
in
which case there is a violent chain reaction whereby it attacks the
protons
of all other elements within the proximity of 1 light year.

However in its natural state, it can be detected easily as it impedes
every
reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of
Governmentium
causes any chemical reaction to take over 10 to the 23rd times longer to
complete then it would normally take.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of infinity; it does not normally
decay, but instead undergoes a transmutation every 2-4 years, which is
called an elect-decay acceleration in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places and also dislodge some of the
neutrons, and occasionally the proton and electrons.

If the proton or one of the electrons is dislodged in this process,
Governmentium can reach critical mass and begin the radiate a tremendous
number of alpha, beta and gamma particles. In this state one milligram of
Governmentium is capable of annialiting a mass about the size of the moon.

Even in its natural state, Governmentium's mass will actually increase
over
time, since each transmutation will cause some morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed in a complete vacuum
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypothetical
quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".


The only substance that Governmentium dissolves in is "Goldwater".

Anyone notice the raging forest fires went around the Reagan Library.
Reagan
took a bullet and joked about it. Bush chokes on a pretzel and collapses.