BoatBanter.com - a REAL challenge

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a REAL challenge

Horvath wrote in :

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 14:30:10 GMT, Marc wrote
this crap:

here's my boat , punk
http://community.webshots.com/photo/...55539946MATggy

Very nice. A friend of mine has one just like it. I especially like
the self-tacking jib. Great for shorthanded sailing.

You'd be shorthadnded on a sunfish, fjuckwit.

Bertie

a REAL challenge

http://community.webshots.com/photo/...84590516gdrVXX

Cockpit looks like a bathtub.....and transom is a waste of space....get
pooped on by a big enough wave and you're sunk....
--
katysails
s/v Chanteuse
Kirie Elite 32
http://katysails.tripod.com

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein

a REAL challenge

Cockpit looks like a bathtub.....and transom is a waste of space....get
pooped on by a big enough wave and you're sunk....

Yea, but all his whites are whiter and his colors brighter.

a REAL challenge

I really want to suck your skinny little cock, Hero man.

Bertie (my lips are wet and my ass is itchy)

a REAL challenge

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:49:29 -0400, "katysails"
wrote this crap:

http://community.webshots.com/photo/...84590516gdrVXX

Cockpit looks like a bathtub.....and transom is a waste of space....get
pooped on by a big enough wave and you're sunk....

Cockpit is like a hot tub. I'd be suprised if you could recognize a
buthtub.

Transom is NOT a waste of space. On one side, we store about 20 PFDs,
and on the other, we store about eight bumpers. And obviously you
know nothing about transom design.

Ave Imperator Bush!
Bush Was Right! Four More Years!

a REAL challenge

And obviously you
know nothing about transom design.

It's a hunk of junk Hunter, Horvath. About one shade north of a Mac 26X.
Cheap. The Neon of sailboats.

--
katysails
s/v Chanteuse
Kirie Elite 32
http://katysails.tripod.com

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein

a REAL challenge

What the heck are you doing with 20 PFDs? Are you selling
them off the transom??

"Horvath" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:49:29 -0400, "katysails"
wrote this crap:

http://community.webshots.com/photo/...84590516gdrVXX

Cockpit looks like a bathtub.....and transom is a waste of space....get
pooped on by a big enough wave and you're sunk....

Cockpit is like a hot tub. I'd be suprised if you could recognize a
buthtub.

Transom is NOT a waste of space. On one side, we store about 20 PFDs,
and on the other, we store about eight bumpers. And obviously you
know nothing about transom design.

Ave Imperator Bush!
Bush Was Right! Four More Years!

a REAL challenge

They're ugly and they sail poorly. You might think they
sail well, judging from the ads, unlike a Mac 26X, which
everyone knows is **** and aren't even advertised as a
full-fledged sailboat.

"Bobsprit" wrote in message
...
It's a hunk of junk Hunter, Horvath. About one shade north of a Mac 26X.
Cheap. The Neon of sailboats.

Hunter owners can never believe it.
It's shaped more like a pacer. Not the worst name in boats...but a
contender.
It's not an attractive boat.

RB

a REAL challenge

.. Really
incredibly ugly. We cranked on and hauled arse outta there

Yaha..and you thought what I said was bad? Howcome you can slam it and I
can't????

--
katysails
s/v Chanteuse
Kirie Elite 32
http://katysails.tripod.com

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein

a REAL challenge

'Cause you're a sweet gentle thing ...

I'
m flattered you think so but when did I turn into that?

--
katysails
s/v Chanteuse
Kirie Elite 32
http://katysails.tripod.com

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein

a REAL challenge

The Cappys Master wrote:

snip I'm an arogant
bombastic PITA.

No, you're just trying.

--
Flying Tadpole

-------------------------
Learn what lies below the waves of cyberspace!
http://www.internetopera.netfirms.com

a REAL challenge

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:57:24 -0700, "Jonathan Ganz"
wrote this crap:

They're ugly and they sail poorly. You might think they
sail well, judging from the ads,

I've won a huge amount of trophys with it.

I guess I'm just a better sailor than I thought.

Ave Imperator Bush!
Bush Was Right! Four More Years!

a REAL challenge

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:55:58 -0700, "Jonathan Ganz"
wrote this crap:

What the heck are you doing with 20 PFDs? Are you selling
them off the transom??

You better check the Coast Guard regulations. You have to carry one
PFD for every person you have aboard.

Ave Imperator Bush!
Bush Was Right! Four More Years!

a REAL challenge

I guess if you're sailing against bathtubs and cars on pontoons
you can make that claim. Otherwise, you're just an idiot.

"Horvath" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:57:24 -0700, "Jonathan Ganz"
wrote this crap:

They're ugly and they sail poorly. You might think they
sail well, judging from the ads,

I've won a huge amount of trophys with it.

I guess I'm just a better sailor than I thought.

Ave Imperator Bush!
Bush Was Right! Four More Years!

a REAL challenge

You have 20 people on your 12 foot dinghy???

"Horvath" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:55:58 -0700, "Jonathan Ganz"
wrote this crap:

What the heck are you doing with 20 PFDs? Are you selling
them off the transom??

You better check the Coast Guard regulations. You have to carry one
PFD for every person you have aboard.

Ave Imperator Bush!
Bush Was Right! Four More Years!

a REAL challenge

(not necessarily this post, but maybe; definitely a general pattern, often
resulting in tears of laughter)

Center stage: A group of ASA posters stands in a perfect circle, each at his
or her own lectern. Center stage is the exact middle of that circle. No
one speaks at first. Then, someone speaks up, his/her name is OP. His/her
true identity is insignificant. What is important, is that a question is
asked, a thesis is offered, a claim is stated, a weakness is confessed, or
an offer is made.
A momentary pause, silence.
Poster #1 speaks up, offers advice, an answer, an opinion. It's genuine and
from the heart.
Another silent pause.
Poster #2 speaks, perhaps agreeing with the first, perhaps not. Still,
genuine. Still legitimate.

Even at this early stage of the thread, the astute observer notices that one
or two of the posters are no long stroking their chins in reflective pose,
instead, hands are slowly moving, migrating, gravitating toward the
seemingly empty space beneath the slanted lectern top. Something is in
there. Something dangerous.
The tension on stage is thick. All seem to know what is about to happen, yet
no one will stop it, no one can stop it.

One chin stroker realizes that he is the only one still stroking his chin, a
potentially fatal timing mistake. All others have already managed to place
their hands beneath their lecterns, all are eyeing each other suspiciously.
Chin stroker had decided to remedy his faux pas, to catch up. He covers his
mouth and coughs, his hand returns not to his chin though, but to the object
inside the lectern; he does this quickly. No one is fooled by this move,
they all know it. They've all done it. But the suddenness of the move
panics a jittery poster known only as Hairtrigger, who reacts without a
moment's thought, draws with lightning speed, pulls a large chocolate
pudding pie from his lectern, and heaves it with all his might, aiming at
Poster #1, not because he disliked his answer, but because of a personal
vendetta, whose roots go back many posts ago. But he misses #1, and instead,
hits Poster #2 square in the face, blinding her with thick chocolate paste.
She hears the heckle of #5's laughter, and throws her lemon meringue wildly,
missing him and hitting #6 more or less in the forehead, burning his eyes
with dripping bits of lemon zest, and causing him to retaliate by throwing
his extra large banana cream at her. He miraculously finds his target, but
not without a banana explosion that manages to soil adjacent posters #3, #4,
and #5. They are unhurt but indignant, and because they are close mates with
#6, they each decide to assuage their need to strike back directly, by
independently launching preemptive strikes at #7, whom they all truly
dislike, and who was just about to wing a wet blueberry concoction at
Hairtrigger, and who now, instead of completing his self determined mission,
absorbs the full and simultaneous impact of #3's dense pumpkin pie, #4's
extremely heavy shoe-fly pie, and #5's weighty mincemeat pie. #7 is nearly
lifted off the stage by the force, dropping his humble apple pie on stage,
slipping in the chaotic mess at his feet, and falling face first into his
own still-warm weapon. The group pauses, momentarily shocked by the sheer
violence of #7's demise; it is enough to make them all think, they watch as
#7's foot twitches slightly, and all are silent - until . . . THWAAAAAP!
An unmistakable sound, and all know instinctively that Hairtrigger has been
taken out by #1, who had just realized that he was the true target of
Hairtrigger's strike, and had been spared only by good luck and
Hairtrigger's hasty aim.

The battle scene is reduced to the familiar, messy aftermath. No one
remembers the original question, nor does it matter. Bodies are everywhere,
covered in sugary goos of all assorted flavors; most are still standing,
though unarmed. All but one have been assaulted. Only OP is untouched, and
still loaded. OP is the winner of this thread, which is only one post away
from completion. Who will feel the humiliation of being singled out for OP's
free shot? OP looks around at all the candidates and considers them all to
be deserving, some more, some less. But most are standing, and that means a
potential duck and a miss.

A moan is heard just then, as #7 lifts his head from his apple pie. He is
groggy, wounded, confused, covered by the fillings of many pies, and - he
has just sealed his fate. He looks at OP, hoping for pity, and instead,
learns why an injured wildebeest is a meal. OP walks slowly to #7, injured
posters gratefully give way. OP stands directly over #7, and lifts a red
hot cherry pie with both hands, high in the air. All eyes are on the loser,
humiliated more than the rest, he lays his head back in his apple pie,
closes his eyes, holds his breath, and counts out the seconds of eternity.

How many of these posters can you identify?

Scout

"Bobsprit" wrote
So now...I offer him a REAL challenge.

a REAL challenge

On Tue, 12 Aug 2003 13:42:24 -0400, a team of surgeons from
alt.sailing.asa removed the following benign growth from Scout:

(not necessarily this post, but maybe; definitely a general pattern, often
resulting in tears of laughter)

Center stage: A group of ASA posters stands in a perfect circle, each at his
or her own lectern. Center stage is the exact middle

Round about here I became bored and decided not to read on.

Better luck next time.

--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8

a REAL challenge

She wouldn't know a decent boat from a bathtub

I own a decent boat. And it isn't a Hunter. Hunter people are just cloned
Catalina people with not as much money.

--
katysails
s/v Chanteuse
Kirie Elite 32
http://katysails.tripod.com

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein

a REAL challenge

Kirie people are just cloned frogs.

"katysails" wrote in message ...

I own a decent boat. And it isn't a Hunter. Hunter people are just cloned
Catalina people with not as much money.

a REAL challenge

Hunter people are just cloned
Catalina people with not as much money.

Catalina has some okay family boats and most sail well and are just fine to
look at.
They have nothing to do with Hunter. Hunter depends on an uneducated customer
as does Macgregor and Beneteau. On the other hand the Catalina 27,30, 34 and 36
are all pretty good boats that offer great space aboard. I know plenty of
"educated" sailors who found that a Catalina made sense.
You should retract your statement, katy. Also, since when is Hunter more
expensive?

RB

a REAL challenge

Kirie people are just cloned frogs.

Welcome to my pond....

--
katysails
s/v Chanteuse
Kirie Elite 32
http://katysails.tripod.com

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein

a REAL challenge

Scout,
You're a real hoot. You must have been a great teacher.

--
katysails
s/v Chanteuse
Kirie Elite 32
http://katysails.tripod.com

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein

a REAL challenge

"Scout" wrote in message
...
So far, that's about the average!
Scout

"Donal" wrote
Three!

I think that it would be *precisely* the average.

BTW, I'd be interested to hear a full explanation. So, go on, tell us
who's who.

Regards

Donal
--

a REAL challenge

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 23:31:17 -0400, "katysails"
wrote:

And obviously you
know nothing about transom design.

It's a hunk of junk Hunter, Horvath. About one shade north of a Mac 26X.
Cheap. The Neon of sailboats.

What an insult! I had a rental Neon when I was in the USA one trip.
Wouldn't go over 85mph with a tailwind and if you turned on the air
con, there went another 10 mph. Worst car I've ever driven (but then
I've never driven a Lada....)

Peter Wiley

a REAL challenge

Yes, I was being facetious! And no taunting me, lol, I'm on my best
(restrictive) behavior!
Scout

"Donal" wrote
I think that it would be *precisely* the average.

a REAL challenge

thanks Katy,
hopefully I have another 15 years to go!
Can you tell I have too much time on my hands today?
Scout

"katysails" wrote
Scout,
You're a real hoot. You must have been a great teacher.

a REAL challenge

"Scout" wrote in message
...
Yes, I was being facetious! And no taunting me, lol, I'm on my best
(restrictive) behavior!
Scout

Don't worry about your behaviour. Many of us are enjoying the sport!

BTW, I notice that the Bunyip spent 9.5 hours on Usenet yesterday. I
cannot imagine a sadder existence.

Regards

Donal
--

a REAL challenge

On Tue, 12 Aug 2003 21:43:07 +1000, The Cappys Master wrote this
crap:

On 12 Aug 2003 11:20:34 GMT, Horvath wrote:

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:57:24 -0700, "Jonathan Ganz"
wrote this crap:

They're ugly and they sail poorly. You might think they
sail well, judging from the ads,

I've won a huge amount of trophys with it.

I guess I'm just a better sailor than I thought.

Handicaps are a wonderful thing...why do you think they call them
Handicaps?

Well, if I can beat the handicap, I'm doing real well.

Ave Imperator Bush!
Bush Was Right! Four More Years!

a REAL challenge

On Wed, 13 Aug 2003 11:05:40 +1000, The Captains Master wrote this
crap:

On 13 Aug 2003 01:03:03 GMT, Horvath wrote:

Handicaps are a wonderful thing...why do you think they call them
Handicaps?

Well, if I can beat the handicap, I'm doing real well.

Yeah but ain't it a bitch when you finally get back to the club and
everyone else has left.

That's never happened.

Or when you mention that you race, someone says "oh, I've never
noticed you out there"

That's never happened, either. Did you forget that I wear a speedo?

Ave Imperator Bush!
Bush Was Right! Four More Years!

a REAL challenge

I think you can go to jail for beating the handicap.

"Horvath" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 12 Aug 2003 21:43:07 +1000, The Cappys Master wrote this
crap:

On 12 Aug 2003 11:20:34 GMT, Horvath wrote:

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:57:24 -0700, "Jonathan Ganz"
wrote this crap:

They're ugly and they sail poorly. You might think they
sail well, judging from the ads,

I've won a huge amount of trophys with it.

I guess I'm just a better sailor than I thought.

Handicaps are a wonderful thing...why do you think they call them
Handicaps?

Well, if I can beat the handicap, I'm doing real well.

Ave Imperator Bush!
Bush Was Right! Four More Years!

a REAL challenge

"Horvath" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 13 Aug 2003 01:01:58 +0100, "Donal"
wrote this crap:

"Scout" wrote in message
...
Yes, I was being facetious! And no taunting me, lol, I'm on my best
(restrictive) behavior!
Scout

Don't worry about your behaviour. Many of us are enjoying the sport!

BTW, I notice that the Bunyip spent 9.5 hours on Usenet yesterday. I
cannot imagine a sadder existence.

Isn't that what you do?

No, it isn't.

Regards

Donal
--

a REAL challenge

Where's the fun in that? And anyway, I'd probably be wrong!
Scout

"Donal" wrote
BTW, I'd be interested to hear a full explanation. So, go on, tell us
who's who.

a REAL challenge

On Wed, 13 Aug 2003 11:43:24 +0100, "Donal"
wrote this crap:

"Horvath" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 13 Aug 2003 01:01:58 +0100, "Donal"
wrote this crap:

"Scout" wrote in message
...
Yes, I was being facetious! And no taunting me, lol, I'm on my best
(restrictive) behavior!
Scout

Don't worry about your behaviour. Many of us are enjoying the sport!

BTW, I notice that the Bunyip spent 9.5 hours on Usenet yesterday. I
cannot imagine a sadder existence.

Isn't that what you do?

No, it isn't.

So you spend more than 12 hours on this newsgroup? Loser.

Ave Imperator Bush!
Bush Was Right! Four More Years!

a REAL challenge

"Scout" wrote in
:

(not necessarily this post, but maybe; definitely a general pattern,
often resulting in tears of laughter)

Center stage: A group of ASA posters stands in a perfect circle,

Now there's a surprise.

Bertie

a REAL challenge

HOOOOBLY DOOOOOOOOOOBLY DAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

RB

Horvath wrote in message ...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:55:58 -0700, "Jonathan Ganz"
wrote this crap:

What the heck are you doing with 20 PFDs? Are you selling
them off the transom??

You better check the Coast Guard regulations. You have to carry one
PFD for every person you have aboard.

Ave Imperator Bush!
Bush Was Right! Four More Years!