Bush To Personally Verify Future CIA Reports

(2003-07-11) -- In an effort to make sure all of his
public statements are accurate, U.S. President
George Bush said today that he will personally
verify all CIA reports before using them publicly.

"I regret that I didn't go to Niger to check out
that uranium sale to Iraq story," said the President.
"Today I deputized myself as an agent in the CIA.
I'll go on deep-cover missions, onto foreign soil,
sometimes behind enemy lines to verify all crucial
information."

An unnamed Democrat Congressman praised the
President for his decision.

"It's important that the President speak only when
he has first-hand knowledge," the source said.
"He needs to emulate the impeccable record of
Congress in this regard."

A poll of Democrats found 98% of them whining
and complaining that they should also be deputized
as CIA agents so they could see for themselves.

"After all," said a high-up Democrat, "Bush has
been absolved of lying this time but that does
not mean he will continue to be honest in the
future. We need to have oversight on all his
undercover activities. Waaaa aaaaaa
blubber blubber, Maaa ma!"