Gates Spends Entire First Day Back in Office Trying to Install Windows

REDMOND — Bill Gates’ first day at work in the newly created role of
technology adviser got off to a rocky start yesterday as the Microsoft
founder struggled for hours to install the Windows 8.1 upgrade.

The installation hit a snag early on, sources said, when Mr. Gates
repeatedly received an error message informing him that his PC ran into
a problem that it could not handle and needed to restart.

After failing to install the upgrade by lunchtime, Mr. Gates summoned
the new Microsoft C.E.O. Satya Nadella, who attempted to help him with
the installation, but with no success.

While the two men worked behind closed doors, one source described the
situation as “tense.”

“Bill is usually a pretty calm guy, so it was weird to hear some of that
language coming out of his mouth,” the source said.

A Microsoft spokesman said only that Mr. Gates’ first day in his new job
had been “a learning experience” and that, for the immediate future, he
would go back to running Windows 7.


From Andy Borowitz

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There’s no point crying over spilled 4-Methylcyclohexanemethanol.