Dear Abby,
My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge
credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off,
he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum
and let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up
with the interest. Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our
neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are
an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts,
running up our bills even more. Also, he has gotten religious. One week
he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is
the Anti-Christ, and the next he's with Muslims.. Finally, the last
straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with
him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy! Can
you help?
Signed, Lost

Dear Lost,
Suck it up and stop whining, Michelle. You're getting to live in the
White House for free, travel the world, and have others pay for
everything for you. You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest
of us are stuck with the idiot for 4 more years.
Signed, Abby