On 3/4/12 10:01 AM, JustWait wrote:
On 3/4/2012 9:56 AM, X ` Man wrote:

Oh. I should have known you wouldn't be able to differentiate between
the religious and the secular.

Atheism is a religion, and it's getting shoved down my kids throats
every day... So is the Church of Al Gore...


Atheism is not a religion. Atheism is the absence of religion. D'oh.

Bill Maher had a great essay on the subject. You should read it because
it describes your anti-intellectual approach to life's mysteries to a tee:

And finally, New Rule: Until someone claims to see Christopher Hitchens'
face in a tree stump, *idiots* must stop claiming that atheism is a
religion.

There's one little difference. Religion is defined as the belief in and
worship of a super-human, controlling power. And atheism is…precisely
not that.

Got it? Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.

Now…believe it or not, I don't really enjoy talking about religion all
the time. In fact, not only is atheism not a religion, it's not even my
hobby. And that's the best thing about being an atheist. It requires so
little of your time.

But, there is a growing trend in this country that needs to be called
out. And that is to label any evidence-based belief a religion. Many
conservatives now say that belief in manmade climate change is a
religion, and Darwinism is a religion. And of course, atheism, the total
lack of religion, is somehow a religion, too, according to the always
reliable "Encyclopedia Moronica."

Now, it's a dodge, of course, straight out of the grand intellectual
tradition of "I know you are, but what am I?" It's a way of saying,
"Hey, we all believe in some sort of faith-based malarkey, so let's call
it a push."

No. No, no, no, no. no. It's not fair that people who can't defend their
own nonsense get to create a fake, fair-and-balanced argument, the way
they do in asserting that evolution and creationism are equally valid.

I'm not saying that atheists are perfect thinkers. Everyone has blind
spots. I'm sure there are atheists who think ponytails look good on a
man. And pineapple belongs on a pizza. And Ayn Rand was an important
thinker. But, when it comes to religion, we're not two sides of the same
coin. And you don't get to put your un-reason up on the same shelf with
my reason.

Your stuff has to go over there on the shelf with Zeus and Thor and the
Kraken. With the stuff that is not evidence-based, stuff that religious
people never change their mind about, no matter what happens. That's not
atheism.

I'm open to anything for which there's evidence. Show me a god and I
will believe in him. If Jesus Christ comes down from the sky during the
halftime show of this Sunday's Super Bowl and turns all the nachos into
loaves and fishes, well, I'll think two things. First, how dare he
interrupt Madonna; she is going to be ****ed!

And two, oh, look at that, I was wrong; there he is. My bad. Praise the
Lord.

But, that's not going to happen. And, short of that, if you still insist
atheism is a religion, then it's only fair that we get to do all the
loony stuff that you get to do.

And I'm going to start tonight by un-baptizing Mitt Romney's dead
father-in-law. [slide shown of Edward Davies] Yes, in case you didn't
hear, it was discovered last week that Edward Davies, Ann Romney's
father, an enthusiastically anti-religious scientist who called
organized faith "hogwash," was posthumously baptized in the Mormon
tradition, 14 months after he died. They tried to do it sooner, but he
wouldn't stop spinning in his grave.

So, here then, is history's first un-baptism ceremony right now. [he
produces framed photo of Edward Davies] [he puts on wizard’s hat and
produces a wand and candle] For the late Edward Davies.

[Lights go out, church music heard] Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
today in the presence of math, gravity, evolution and electricity…to
honor Brother Edward, and to send the powers of SEAL Team 666 to rescue
him from Planet Kolob so that he may spend eternity with the kind of
free-thinkers he chose to hang out with on earth.

So, by the power granted to me by the Blair Witch. Schlemiel,
Schlimazel, e pluribus mumbo-jumbo! Expecto-Petronum, Sussudio, Yo
Mama…I call upon the Mormon spirits to leave your body the f**k alone!

Brother Edward, in this world, you had to put up with Mitt Romney.
You've suffered enough!