Sent by my wife 6 months ago- (html)



APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS



Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:



I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my
life for the following period:











Time of return

Date: Time of departu
NOT to exceed:



Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the
locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting
on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female,
except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my
mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of
alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver
of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted
to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be ****ed off with
me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.


















Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer Wine
Liquor Total

Location: From:
To:

Location: From:
To:

Location: From:
To:





Locations to be visited













Females with whom conversation

is permitted



IMPORTANT - STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact permitted
above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a
stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be
grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.



I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our
relationship, and I agree it's not me. I promise to abide by your rules &
regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in
chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit
cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you to a Robbie
Williams concert, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way
home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in
depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not
to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain
from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to
breed like a (drunken) rabbit.






I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to
my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:












Request is: APPROVED DENIED


This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and
carry at all times.

".........................................

Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following
period of time:










Date: Time of departu
Time of return:






Signed - Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife:









_____________________________________________







APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS



Name of Girlfriend/Fiancée/Partner/Wife:



I'M GOING OUT, O.K.





Signed: (me)........



















"Shiver Me Timbers" wrote in message
...
Stanley Barthfarkle wrote:

Lighten up, guy....it's a joke. For every "why XYZ's are better than
women"
joke, there is at least one "why XYZ's are better than men" joke.

And, of course, for every usenet post there is someone who just can't
wait
to jump down someone's throat for being politically incorrect.

Viva La Differance !

Well Stan please post the - "why XYZ's are better than men" joke
please and thank you..... I presume you have it handy.