Terrorists have aquired an old Russian submarine and will shoot all
Western boats they meet with torpedoes!

Very dangerous!

Effective countermeasures:

1. Pulll your tin foil hat farther down over your ears. This is likely to
confound their radar.

2. Get a Britney Spears CD and a rap CD from the nearest 12 year old. Put them
on tape, and simultaneously play them backwards at full volume everywhere you
go. If they pick you up on sonar, they'll assume you have already been
torpedoed
and that the anguished shrieks are the sounds of survivors splashing around
near the wreckage.

3. Cover you entire boat with visqueen and duct tape. If the terrorists make
visual contact, they'll be too busy rolling around and peeing themselves in
laughter to fire any topedoes.


((Anybody seen that tin foil liner for my Greek fishing cap?))