On 1/16/11 1:01 AM, jps wrote:
On Sat, 15 Jan 2011 19:54:41 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch
wrote:

On Jan 15, 9:57 pm, wrote:
On Sat, 15 Jan 2011 16:51:58 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch



wrote:
HAving just completed a great sailing trip with 4 men on a small (28')
sailboat, I am still amazed at how it went. NO arguing or tension, no
feelings of lack of personal space, general agreement on most things
and we parted as good friends. HOW is this possible? It amazes me so
much that I have puzzled over it for days.
Consider: Person A, myself, extreme introvert who is self confident
in all techie matters but not so much in people things.
Person B. Another introvert, even more than myself
Person C. Less introverted than A or B but still on the introverted
side.
Person D. EXTREME extrovert. Never stops talking and constantly
makes jokes about everything.

Being the boat owner, having far more sailing experience than the
others and being oldest, I was clearly captain on the water. While
ashore, I relinquished responsibility to Person D most of the time.
All of the group except Person C were cavers so tend to be self
sufficient.
I maintain that Person D was the critical component in maintaining
group harmony but am not sure why.
This experience will certainly cause me to evaluate groups before
future trips. I had actually been sorta dreading the enforced
closeness but miss the group now that it is over.

Are any of the four given to being disagreeable by nature? I chalk it
up to being men and being on vacation.

My wife asks, "what did you guys talk about all that time, sex?"
"Of course not", I reply, men rarely talk about sex.
"Did you talk about women"? she asks.
"Hardly at all", I reply
"Then what", she wonders?
Truthfully, I cannot remember what we discussed except the trip and
previous caving trips but we seemed to laugh non-stop. I did my share
of science geek talk with one of the guys who has such an interest but
mostly it was a little sports, a little about our families about
friends, nothing unusual at all.
Women seem to think that men talk of nothing but sex and women whereas
we do nothing like that.
NOW, I wonder if that is what women always talk about. It's enough to
make a man paranoid.

I take part in a traditional european christmas dinner with 10 married
friends around the same age. Dinner lasts for 8 or more hours with
tons of consumption and even more conversation.

It's among my favorite gatherings of the year. I'm not sure I could
tell you what we talked about but it certainly includes kids,
politics, wives, work, funny stories, local attractions, cars, boats,
work and a whole lot else.

Very enjoyable. I expect it could last for days in the right setting.
Sounds like you provided the right setting.


My wife, who gets paid to listen, says most men in therapy rarely
discuss "relationships" with significant others in great detail, as
opposed to women, who spend much of their time in therapy discussing
little else. I can't recall that I've ever discussed the details of my
relationship with a woman while talking to a guy. My wife and I have a
bachelor friend who dates every woman he meets. Whenever I see that
friend, my wife always asks, "So, how's Dave's new girl friend?" I never
know, because we never discuss his girl friends.

Women, on the other hand, will know how much belly button lint the guy
their female friend is dating has.

An eight-hour dinner? I'd fall asleep! :)