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jps jps is offline
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First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Jul 2006
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Default Weird group dynamics on a sailing trip

On Sat, 15 Jan 2011 19:54:41 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch
wrote:

On Jan 15, 9:57*pm, jps wrote:
On Sat, 15 Jan 2011 16:51:58 -0800 (PST), Frogwatch



wrote:
HAving just completed a great sailing trip with 4 men on a small (28')
sailboat, I am still amazed at how it went. *NO arguing or tension, no
feelings of lack of personal space, general agreement on most things
and we parted as good friends. *HOW is this possible? *It amazes me so
much that I have puzzled over it for days.
Consider: *Person A, myself, extreme introvert who is self confident
in all techie matters but not so much in people things.
Person B. *Another introvert, even more than myself
Person C. *Less introverted than A or B but still on the introverted
side.
Person D. *EXTREME extrovert. *Never stops talking and constantly
makes jokes about everything.


Being the boat owner, having far more sailing experience than the
others and being oldest, I was clearly captain on the water. *While
ashore, I relinquished responsibility to Person D most of the time.
All of the group except Person C were cavers so tend to be self
sufficient.
I maintain that Person D was the critical component in maintaining
group harmony but am not sure why.
This experience will certainly cause me to evaluate groups before
future trips. *I had actually been sorta dreading the enforced
closeness *but miss the group now that it is over.


Are any of the four given to being disagreeable by nature? *I chalk it
up to being men and being on vacation.


My wife asks, "what did you guys talk about all that time, sex?"
"Of course not", I reply, men rarely talk about sex.
"Did you talk about women"? she asks.
"Hardly at all", I reply
"Then what", she wonders?
Truthfully, I cannot remember what we discussed except the trip and
previous caving trips but we seemed to laugh non-stop. I did my share
of science geek talk with one of the guys who has such an interest but
mostly it was a little sports, a little about our families about
friends, nothing unusual at all.
Women seem to think that men talk of nothing but sex and women whereas
we do nothing like that.
NOW, I wonder if that is what women always talk about. It's enough to
make a man paranoid.


I take part in a traditional european christmas dinner with 10 married
friends around the same age. Dinner lasts for 8 or more hours with
tons of consumption and even more conversation.

It's among my favorite gatherings of the year. I'm not sure I could
tell you what we talked about but it certainly includes kids,
politics, wives, work, funny stories, local attractions, cars, boats,
work and a whole lot else.

Very enjoyable. I expect it could last for days in the right setting.
Sounds like you provided the right setting.