In what can only be labeled as a stunning yet entirely predictable
turn of events, former Vice Presidential candidate and "chief common
sense haver" Sarah Palin has stepped down from her new role as Fox
News contributor - only minutes after inking the deal.

Not wanting to be labeled as a quitter, Palin was adamant that this
was because she was duped by the "elitist liberal Ivy-league educated
freedom haters" who didn't tell her that there wouldn't be phonetics
on her teleprompter and that she was "being lured into doing fascist
work behind a desk that freedom-loving Americans can understand why
she wouldn't want to do".

Palin's deal, the details of which are still undisclosed, was rumored
to include responsibilities such as "reading all of the newspapers
that are put in front of her" and one segment was rumored to be shot
on location at the MSNBC studios to capture Keith Olbermann and Rachel
Maddow in the break rooms "palling around with terrorists and others
who hate our freedoms and who don't see the value in freedom loving
common sensors who just want to make sure that our way of life isn't
threatened by those who want to do harm to it".

Word is that a disagreement over shortening the title of the above
noted segment to something coherent left Palin storming out of the Fox
offices yelling about the "biased high 'flutin' big words of over
educated people who don't have real world free market experience and
values that are similar to those that real America has".

Palin did want to stress that, just like her quitting the Governorship
a few months ago, this does not make her a quitter. Because quitting
is "for those who don't ascribe to a higher calling of making sure
that the next step in adopting principles that are free market and
such thereto for furthering freedom and policies that Americans can
truly believe in if we are to move forward".

Borrowed from ClammyC at Kos