"JT" wrote in message
...

"Anony Mouse" wrote in message
...

Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural
Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists
going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a
large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported
missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several
fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials.

"Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the
protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong."

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups,
"growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older
women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual
motorcycle club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton
use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats." "In fact," said
the organizer. "Motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of
wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know
that we disagree with them using it... Ergo, they should stop."

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage
1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with
balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting
"you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha
began.

"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I
looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped
me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"

"I.. I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather
jacket. And, he... he didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and all
he said was, 'You can't prove that.' Next thing I know is he forced me to
ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and not left me off, because
his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman."

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs
under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several
bikers "farted on their heads."

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the
ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the
motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations.

"That's preposterous, " said on high ranking member of the biker
organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up
and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and
tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to
the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because
we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about
inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them
to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to
make them feel welcome."

When confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists meat,
using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food
restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer
declined to comment in detail.

"That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer.



Unfortunately it's not true. It's a spoof, completely fictitious.

JT



Of course it is. I said so in my follow-up post to the original. Still
entertaining.