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Third Florida trip report (long, of course!)
x-no-archive:yes wrote:
On Mon, 22 Dec 2003 17:33:57 GMT, Rosalie B.
wrote:
My grandfather remarried after my grandmother died to a lady who while
she was 20 years younger was in her mid 50s and he was her third or
fourth husband. She had way more money than my grandfather, so they
signed a pre-nup. All her money would go to her kids and not to my
grandfather, although she had a life tenancy (if she wanted it) to
live in his house. So maybe that would be one way to remove that
concern.
Here's an irony: my middle-class father, ex-British Merchant Marine,
is pushing 80 and was ten years older than my mother whom we lost last
year to cancer. Typically, (he's a child of Depression and WWII Blitz
in England) , he scrounged and saved and they didn't take the trips
and activities they could well afford, because he thought he'd die
first and leave her somehow destitute. Now, his pensions and savings
and habitual economies mean that he will leave half-a-million each to
me and my sister, because he didn't spend a cent when he could have
and probably should have.
So the likelihood is strong that the reason I myself will get
something like Skip's ideal Morgan 46 (or some other similar Brewer or
Wallstrom design, which I greatly favour for offshore cruising) is
because he didn't spend money on my mother when she was alive and
wanting nothing more than to travel to distant shores.
OTOH, my dad was 5 years older than my mom, and he died in 1973 just
before his 69th birthday. My mom at 94 is still active and living in
her own house and doing well because my dad made provisions for her
including taking a reduced pension during his life so she would have
one after he died.
I already have a decent Great Lakes cruiser. She could easily do the
ICW to the Caribbean.
I could refinance a decent ocean cruiser out of a nearly-paid-off
house.
So in sum, I wish they'd blown their savings on a well-earned good
time and not left us an essentially redundant packet o' cash which
will pay for frills like radar and nice things like college educations
for their grandkids....essentially, any inheritance will bypass my
generation to make life a little nicer for the kids he doesn't notice
because he's in mourning for his dead wife.
Give him some TIME for god's sake!! It took my mom well over a year
to be able to speak of my dad's death without crying. She was only 64
when my dad died, and when she was 66, she started traveling again
(she and my dad traveled a lot when he was alive) - at some point, she
vowed not to be home on the anniversary of my dad's death ever again.
And so she started taking her grandchildren (of which she had 7) on
trips with her around that date. It was wonderful for them - she took
my 4
-to Australia, NZ and Tahiti,
-to East and West Germany, Austria, France, Switzerland, England
Scotland and Wales,
-to Red China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, with a stop in Hawaii on the
way home, and
-to Kenya by way of London.
My nieces went to Germany, France, and Italy. She's also been on her
own or with friends to India and Pakistan, Egypt, Mexico, England and
various places in Europe, and she went to visit my 2nd daughter when
she was stationed in Okinawa and went with her to Thailand.
My grandfather (who I mentioned above who also lost his wife to
cancer) became very depressed and started to drink when my grandmother
died. His 2nd wife also tended to become depressed around Xmas
because that's when her 2nd husband died (she divorced the first one).
It takes time to work through grief.
The lesson? Carpe ****ing diem, my friends, because it doesn't come
around again. If you want it, go for it, and let no one bar your
dream.
To hell with waiting for 65...I'd rather be a poor cruiser in a decent
boat while I can still haul a halyard.
Good on you, Skip and Linda: fair winds and steady seas. Your story
has been most instructive.
I agree with that, although we are both over 65 now and can still haul
a halyard. There are plenty of lively older people out there who
aren't ready for a wheelchair yet. It isn't an EITHER/OR situation
you know. (Either you go young Or you don't get to go)
grandma Rosalie
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