Lu Powell wrote:
DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO WELL PUT AND ALLEGEDLY BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!!
WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists
and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I
know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and
chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be
relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide
other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.. You are
welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war,
we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however,
responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all
three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless,
homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey
moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC
and Hollywood ..

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us.. You can have the peaceniks
and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under
assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.
but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll
keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure
you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to
Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up
poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our
history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like
minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just
hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll let you answer which
one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara
Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And we won't have to press 1 for English.


--
"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an
unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of
others." - Ayn Rand

"Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass"

Looking at the land mass question that is easy. obama's support is
principally in the coastal cities. Washington north to Boston. and Los
Angles north to San Francisco. Chicago which is still controlled by the
Daley machine we could toss in.

Which leaves the land mass that controls 80% of the US senate, and the
majority of the US House.