DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO WELL PUT AND ALLEGEDLY BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER
HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and
Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest
election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we
tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but
sadly, this relationship has run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what
is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it
up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a
portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can
come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our
respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both
sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.. You are welcome to
the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our
firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however,
responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of
them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys,
hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy
CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us.. You can have the peaceniks and
war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll
help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we
will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take
every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep
The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be
happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya
or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty
your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our
name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded
liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll let you answer which one of us will
need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara
Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And we won't have to press 1 for English.


--
"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned
benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others." - Ayn
Rand