On Thu, 6 Aug 2009 16:43:35 -0400, "Lu Powell"
wrote:

"The President held a press conference tonight in prime time. All the major
networks carried it, except Fox. They ran the show 'Lie to Me' instead. Fox
is something -- they killed President David Palmer off on '24,' they put his
brother, President Wayne Palmer, into a permanent coma and now this. What
does Fox have against black Presidents?" --Jimmy Kimmel

"Today marks 100 days of President Obama being in office, which is a big
deal because 100 days is when his warranty runs out. We couldn't return him
now even if we wanted to." --Jimmy Kimmel

"President Barack Obama told his Cabinet yesterday to insure that every
taxpayer dollar is spent wisely. But there was one embarrassing moment when
he had to explain to the Cabinet what a taxpayer was." --Jay Leno

"President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of
dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley -- all dependents." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama's daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the
same responsibility for the dog that he is taking for the economy. That way,
if the dog leaves a mess in the White House, it'll be cleaned up by future
generations." --Jay Leno

"Well, the wait is over. The Obamas have chosen a new White House dog. It is
a Portuguese water dog named Bo. Very cute dog. Their first choice was a
wheaten terrier, but it was arrested for tax evasion." --Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama made a surprise visit to Iraq this week where he declared
it is time for Iraqis to take responsibility for their country. Said Iraqis,
'You guys first.'" --Seth Meyers

"So they gave the Queen an iPod. I remember when British Prime Minister
Gordon Brown was here, the Obamas gave him a DVD box set. So, it looks like
they're saving the big gift, the Nintendo, for the Pope." --Jay Leno

"As you know by now, the government is now taking an active role in the auto
business. President Obama offering hope, change, and 0 percent
financing." --Jay Leno

"It's a great day for our president, Barack Obama, who got to meet the Queen
of England today. She very regally gave him a photograph of her, and he gave
her an iPod! That's quite an unusual gift from the President. Usually he
gives out about $150 million." --Craig Ferguson

"President Obama, by the way, is, I think, making his first presidential
European trip. And while he's there in Europe, he plans to fire the CEO's of
BMW and Volkswagen." --David Letterman

"Big day in Detroit. You may have heard about this. The Obama Administration
asked General Motors C.E.O. Rick Wagoner to step down, and he agreed, which
is good news for Obama. You know, the last time he tried to get someone to
quit, it took months. And even then, he had to promise her a job as
Secretary of State." --Jay Leno

"And in a speech in Anchorage, Alaska, Sarah Palin took kind of a cheap shot
at her former running mate, John McCain. She said she couldn't find anyone
to pray with during the campaign. She's not the only one. Between Jesse
Jackson and Reverend Wright, Obama couldn't find anybody to pray with
either." --Jay Leno

"Today, President Obama announced he is using his own money to redecorate
the White House. Meanwhile, he is using taxpayers' money to redecorate the
houses of A.I.G. executives." --Craig Ferguson

"Barack Obama is taking his first overseas trip as president tomorrow. He is
headed to the G20 economic summit. And he's been rehearsing his opening line
to foreign leaders. 'Hi, I'm not George Bush. Hi, I'm not George
Bush.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama has announced a task force to review the tax codes. He's
concerned there are too many loopholes and too many people manipulating the
system to avoid paying taxes. And that's just in his administration." --Jay
Leno

"How many watched the President's news conference last night? He got a
little testy there, you know. When he was asked why he waited three days to
speak out against the AIG bonuses, President Obama said he likes to know
what he's talking about before he speaks. So, yet another reversal of the
Bush policies." --Jay Leno

"Many people are complaining, though, that Obama is becoming too scripted.
Last night, he was having an intimate moment with Michelle, and she said,
'Wait, are you reading the teleprompter?'" --Jimmy Fallon

"On '60 Minutes' the other night, if you saw the interview, reporter Steve
Croft asked President Obama how he could laugh with all the financial
trouble going on. And the President said it's necessary to have a measure of
'gallows humor to get you through the day.' You know why Obama likes gallows
humor? It works much better for him than bowling humor." --Jay Leno

"After Barack Obama was on the show Thursday, I got a phone call from Joe
Biden going, 'Wow, what was it like to talk to the President?'" --Jay Leno

"Did you see this on '60 Minutes' last night? Michelle Obama is planting a
vegetable garden on the White House lawn. You know the economy's bad when
the Obamas are afraid of running out of food." --Jimmy Fallon

"This morning, the first lady, Michelle Obama, celebrated spring by breaking
ground on a new vegetable garden at the White House. She said she did it to
help educate children about healthy, locally-grown food, and to help her own
family survive the coming economic apocalypse." --Jimmy Kimmel

"We are very excited to have President Barack Obama on the show tonight.
People think it's amazing that the President would take the time to leave
Washington, DC, and fly 3,000 miles to come to California. But that happens
to a lot of guys when their mother-in-law moves in with them." --Jay Leno

"No wonder Obama has gray hair. That was the big story in the paper
yesterday, Obama has gray hair. Wow, now his hair isn't black
enough." --Bill Maher


I LMAO'd, but...

.....Loogy's gonna get you.


My fav..."After Barack Obama was on the show Thursday, I got a phone
call from Joe Biden going, 'Wow, what was it like to talk to the
President?'" --Jay Leno
--
John H

All decisions, even those made by liberals, are the result of binary thinking.