For the right-wingers:

"Today marks 100 days of President Obama being in office, which is a big
deal because 100 days is when his warranty runs out. We couldn't return him
now even if we wanted to." --Jimmy Kimmel

"President Barack Obama told his Cabinet yesterday to insure that every
taxpayer dollar is spent wisely. But there was one embarrassing moment when
he had to explain to the Cabinet what a taxpayer was." --Jay Leno

"President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of
dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley -- all dependents." --Jay Leno
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For the left-wingers:

"In a recent study, the United States was ranked the 114th happiest country
in the world. Then Sarah Palin stepped down. Now we're at 17." --Conan
O'Brien

"Now how about this, ladies and gentlemen? The Governor of Alaska, Sarah
Palin, has announced she is stepping down. She will no longer be the
Governor of Alaska. First thing, she woke up and went out on her porch and
waved goodbye to Russia." --David Letterman

"It's an emotional day. A lot of us are still mourning the loss of one of
America's most entertaining figures, who left us all too soon. But don't
worry, folks, Sarah Palin will be back. Comedians everywhere are
praying." --Conan O'Brien



--

Tyrants and liberals have a lot in common
- they want to control every aspect of our lives.