Gingrich: Pelosi Not Good Enough Liar to be Speaker
Offers Congresswoman Lying Lessons

Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich lashed out today at the
current Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, calling the congresswoman unfit to be
Speaker of the House "because she's not a good enough liar."

Mr. Gingrich, in an appearance on ABC's "Good Morning America," said
that the ability to lie seamlessly is the most important qualification
for the job of Speaker, adding, "I've been in the job and I should know."

The former Speaker issued the following ultimatum to Rep. Pelosi: "She
needs to get better at lying, or step down."

Mr. Gingrich offered a brutal, blow-by-blow criticism of the House
Speaker's lying technique, which he said consists of "pauses, ums and
uhs, stuttering - all the hallmarks of an amateur."

In contrast, he said, "When I was in her chair my lying was as smooth as
a baby's bottom."

He added that if Rep. Pelosi is serious about remaining in her position,
he would be "more than willing" to give her lying lessons.

"Being a good liar requires practice," Mr. Gingrich said. "Fortunately
for me, I had years of practice lying to my many wives."

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Andy Borowitz, of course.