Jack Rye wrote:

So you have dog problems. Well to solve the inconvenience. Buy some
Pillsbury chocolate cookie dough at your grocery store and some chocolate
Exlax. Put two bars of Exlax in each cookie and bake. About an hour before
the neighbor brings the dog in for the night. Toss two cookies to the dog.

You'll know you got even when you see the carpet cleaning truck or new
carpet being installed.

Years ago the dog across the street used to come over and knock my
garbage can over and paw the lid off. I had some old raw/freezer burned
Italian sausage laying about...one chunk of exlax per link in the trash
can. I was actually relieved to see the dog out and moving two weeks
later since I then knew I hadn't killed it. It wasn't really the dogs
fault. It also never came into my yard ever again.

--
The wise and intelligent are coming belatedly to realize that alcohol, and
not the dog, is man's best friend. Rover is taking a beating -- and he should.
-- W.C. Fields