November 25, 2008
Palin Offers Thankfulnesses
Alaska Governor Marks Thanksgiving

In order to celebrate Thanksgiving, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin today
issued what she called "my list of thankfulnesses":

The first thankfulness being that I'm thankful for this turkey, and also
too for the metal funnel thingy that cut the turkey's head clean off
while it was flapping its wings trying to get out and all. That was fun.

The next thankfulness being that I'm thankful that Levi is going to
marry our Bristol, and I'm hoping also that we'll know soon what his
location is.

Another thankfulness too being that I'm thankful for Sen. Ted Stevens,
because compared to what he did and all it doesn't seem like a big deal
if you tried to get some dumb old trooper fired.

My next thankfulness being I have thankfulness for our President-elect
Barack Obama, and proudness, too, even though he probably is spending
Thanksgiving palling around with Bill Ayres and Osama bin Laden and the
Unabomber also.

A darned important thankfulness being I'm sure thankful that when the
lawyers from the RNC came to take back all of that clothing they didn't
check under Piper's bed. Good job, Piper!

And my last thankfulness, which I saved for last because it is the most
important thankfulness, would be the turkey again also. I'm thankful
that God created turkeys with so many tiny little bones in them and also
too I hope Katie Couric chokes on one.


From the wonderful Andy Borowitz.